In Defence of 'The Geezer' on Film

The diamond geezer is a national treasure; we should get behind him, not mock him.

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Ask the average film lover why they love cinema, and many people will say they like the fact that it can take you anywhere. You can go to a country on the other side of the world, into space, back in time; you can go into a totally made up world where tiny characters spend about five three-long hour films exploring vast mountains in search of a magic ring. But you can also get to listen to the thoughts and feelings of a person that you may never get to hear from in real life; and not all of these people are very nice. Murderers, serial killers, flesh-eating aliens etc.

But there is one type of person that has graced our screens for a very long time that for some reason, constantly gets a bad rap. The geezer. The tracksuit wearing, sweary, petty criminal who talks about birds, football and drugs. Most people would rather listen to Hannibal Lecter talk about eating people. The mere whisper of Danny Dyer’s name is enough to swiftly turn upwards the noses of those who profess to love independent cinema. But that is not fair. Everyone should love Danny Dyer.

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Now it’s not just the crime thing that people have an issue with. Everybody loves Ray Winstone. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who has a bad word to say about Michael Caine. You’d certainly get a mouthful if you dared to question the utter brilliance of Bob Hoskins, and rightly so. But what makes these guys different to the lager swilling, belching hooligan that grace the likes of The Essex Boys, The Business and The Football Factory?

Well, they’ve got a little bit of class haven’t they? They’re organised, they’re professionals. You wouldn’t catch Michael Caine’s Alfie using swear words as he smacks his girlfriend round the face, would you? As long as Bob Hoskins’ Harold Shand is murdering a bloke with a smashed brandy class whilst wearing a nice suit, that’s fine, but put him in a Kappa tracksuit and a gold chain from Argos and everyone wants to switch off. Except that really, that’s not totally fair is it?

The problem is that these characters are all a little bit too familiar. Danny Dyer looks a bit like that guy who squared up to you in the pub that time you knocked over his pint. You avoid these people, you probably take the mick out them a bit when you’re absolutely sure that they can’t hear you. You think they’re a bit stupid, that they don’t really have much to say about anything.

But, thankfully for us, cinema is magic. You can get to know these people without actually having to get to know them. And they do have a lot to say. Nick Love, director of films like The Business and the underrated classic Goodbye Charlie Bright, constantly lets us delve into their minds. We actually hear them talking about how they feel.



they may not speak proper English, it may sometimes be sweary and rude, but it’s important. You don’t have to like them, or understand why they do things, but the very least you can do is listen.


They have hearts, they have complex thoughts, they feel pressure to behave in a certain way, which really, when you think about it, shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. And they may not speak proper English, it may sometimes be sweary and rude, but it’s important. You don’t have to like them, or understand why they do things, but the very least you can do is listen, especially if you’re happy to watch Ray Winstone swanning around in a really tiny pair of speedos.

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It is a total myth that the geezer does not have a heart. If you’re not convinced, slap on The Football Factory when you get home and then say that you learn nothing from watching Danny Dyer’s Tommy fall apart. In real life, you can put your head down and cross the road to avoid that drunk bloke with the football shirt on, but in cinema, you should indulge, with your eyes wide open. You should learn to love the geezer.

 

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