Air Date: March 4, 2006
Starring: Natalie Portman, Chris Parnell, Andy Samberg

Oh, look it's Natalie Portman, that fine girl from the bad Star Wars prequel trilogy. She's pretty funny, too. And...wait a second. She can spit?

Yep, that's right. This Digital Short featuring the supposedly sweet, innocent actress cursing up a storm went viral immediately (no surprises there), and the rhymes weren't half bad, either. Don't believe us? Read this: "All the kids looking up to me can suck my dick/ It's Portman, motherfucker, drink 'til I'm sick/Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole/Watch you laugh and cry, while I laugh, you die."

So, yeah, can you marry us? Did we also mention that this video includes footage of her smashing a bottle over her head and destroying the dreams of a little girl dressed as Queen Amidala? Damn, son.