The word "ratchet" may be played out, but until the Internet agrees upon a more accurate description for these crimes, it will have to do. These stories are sad, imaginative, and they inspire us to have conversations about race, class, and the American dream.
This week's roundup includes a fried-chicken-fueled fight, Pop Tarts standing in for cocaine, and a wedding gone wild. Each crime is rated on our Ratchet Meter, a base-10 logarithmic scale modeled after a similar system developed by Charles Richter—except that the Ratchet Meter has nothing to do with science because it's not actually a real thing.
Read on for the best of the worst ratchet crimes in America. Proceed with caution, stay safe, don't try this at home, and send your tips to cityguidetips@complex.com.
And for your viewing pleasure, here's the latest episode of Ratchet News Network with The Kid Mero:
RNN: Ratchet News Network
A Reminder Not to Ignite Your Friend's Armpit Hair While He's Driving
Man Arrested for Allegedly Killing Woman, Eating Portion of Her Brain
Florida Man Arrested for Assaulting Wife During Argument About Leftover Fried Chicken
Man Accused of Serving Ex-Girlfriend's Dog to Her as Meal
Date: 8/4/2014
Location: Redding, California
Crime: Animal cruelty
Ratchet Meter: 9
A California man was arrested for allegedly killing his ex-girlfriend's dog, then, in an extremely cruel twist, serving him to her like your average meal.
NBC news reports that the woman told police that her Pomeranian vanished following an argument she had with 34-year-old Ryan Watenpaugh. She added that they resolved things, and that he served her a “pork” meal last Saturday. The following day, things got twisted:
The next day, “the victim received a text message from Watenpaugh asking how her dog tasted, and referenced the meal he had cooked for her,” police said. A pair of severed dog’s paws was later left on her doorstep. Police are testing the remains.
Though the Palo Cedro, Calif. native admitted to leaving the paws on the woman's doorstep, but denied murdering and cooking the dog. He's been charged with animal cruelty and stalking.
[via NBC News]
Teenager Arrested (and Fired) for Rubbing Genitals on Pizza
Wedding Reception Explodes Into Violent Free-For-All
Date: 9/13/2014
Location: Orchard Park, New York
Crime: Fighting
Ratchet Meter: 6
A wedding reception at a country club just outside of Buffalo, N.Y. erupted into a massive brawl over the weekend, authorities say.
The Buffalo News reports that police in Orchard Park, N.Y. were summoned to the Orchard Park Country Club mere hours after the wedding last Saturday when a guest was punched in the face by another for allegedly fondling a woman. The recipient of the punch was carted away by police, and as guests were leaving the reception, the larger altercation began.
One witness described the carnage:
I’m telling you, there was blood everywhere, he said. There was holes punched in the walls. Words couldn’t describe it. Just when you thought it was over, another fight started.
Orchard Park Police Lt. Patrick Fitzgerald added that there was damage to the building including “holes in walls, blood, broken crystal bowls and glasses and damage to property in the main banquet area, hallways and basement.” In contrast, the Orchard Park Country Club insists there was no damage, a claim Fitzgerald says is “100 percent wrong.”
Emergency responders treated several people for injuries, though there were no arrests because police are uncertain of who started the fight.
“Things were said that can never be taken back,” one witness told the News. That makes for a horrendous start to a marriage.
[via Buffalo News and Gawker]
Florida Police Quickly Learn That Domestic Disturbance Is Just Couple Having Loud Sex
Seattle Woman Charged for Breaking Into Man's Home, Raping Him While He Slept
Sensitive Florida Man Threatens Fast Food Worker with Gun at Drive-Thru Window
Man Arrested After Trying to Pass Crushed Pop Tarts Off as Cocaine. To An Undercover Cop.
Overzealous Denver Deputy Suspended for Attacking Inmate Who Clowned His Martial Arts Ability
Date: 9/10/2014
Location: Denver, Colorado
Crime: Attacking an inmate
Ratchet Meter: 8
A thin-skinned police officer in Denver has been suspended for attacking an inmate who made fun of his martial arts ability.
The Denver Post reports that Deputy Roberto Roena of the Denver Sheriff's Department received a 90-day suspension for kicking John Cardenas in the head last April. Apparently, Cardenas was amused by Roena's boasts about his taekwondo skills:
The Post reports that Roena—a 15-year veteran of the department and an alleged adult—then put down a drink and showed off a taekwondo sidekick into the air, which prompted nearby inmate John Cardenas to (rightfully) make fun of him.
That sort of ribbing didn't sit well with the deputy, who then—as shown in surveillance video—kicked Cardenas in the head with a sidekick, followed by a series of punches. Roena then put Cardenas in a headlock and the two tumbled to the ground before other deputies jumped in to break up the fight.
Roenas insisted that he acted in self-defense, but video footage proved otherwise. Investigators noted that Cardenas didn't get aggressive until the deputy made a “poor decision.” Strangely enough, it took well over a year for the department to take action against that poor decision.
[via The West and The Denver Post]
Woman Gives Birth Mere Hours After Stopping Thief from Stealing Her Purse
Two Injured After Drunk, Off-Duty Cop Opens Fire on New York City Street
Date: 9/12/2014
Location: New York, New York
Crime: Reckless endangerment, assault, resisting arrest
Ratchet Meter: 7
An off-duty police officer allegedly shot two people in New York City on Friday night.
NBC New York reports that Victor Zambrano, a member of the New York State Bureau of Narcotics, drunkenly opened fire on an Upper West Side street. Though NBC New York says Zambrano did not know the victims— 42-year-old Sydney Bernard-Whitehead and his girlfriend, 31-year-old Nichola Davidson— the New York Daily News referred to them as his “pals.”
The Daily News also described the events which led to the shooting:
The three pals had been drinking together and were walking on Amsterdam Ave. near W. 82nd St. when the woman asked the New York State Bureau of Narcotics enforcement agent for his pistol, a police source said.
Zambrano handed it over, but quickly demanded it back, cop sources said. As the argument became increasingly heated, the agent fired a round. The bullet ricocheted off the concrete and hit both the woman and her boyfriend.
Despite sustaining a wound to his ankle, the man chased after Zambrano, who the Daily News says turned around and opened fire again, sending a live round onto the pavement. The 49-year-old was eventually surrounded by police, yet still refused to drop his weapon.
Zambrano was eventually subdued and charged with reckless endangerment, assault, and resisting arrest. His neighbor told the New York Post that he had been drinking excessively all week. “He’s been drinking every day,” one neighbor said.
[via NBC New York, New York Post and New York Daily News]
MTA Employee Arrested After Being Caught Pleasuring Himself in Public
Chinese Man Dies After Donating Sperm 4 Times Over 10-Day Period
Date: 9/12/2014
Location: Hubei Province, China
Crime: Frequent sperm donations
Ratchet Meter: 7
We're taking a detour to China for the next story.
A Chinese man reportedly died in 2012 after making four trips to a sperm bank in just 10 days.
According to the New York Post, employees at the Wuhan University building discovered 23-year-old Zheng Gang unconscious inside of a room. Despite attempts to revive him, Gang, who had been inside of the room for two hours, was pronounced dead.
Claiming that the sperm bank was responsible for his death, Gang's family sued:
They demanded to be paid $648,545 in compensation and claimed that the clinic had forced him to sign up.
They also said the clinic pressured the young man into making frequent donations and alleged the medical staff did not properly handle the situation once they discovered him unconscious.
However, a court ruled in favor of the facility, determining that Gang signed up to donate sperm under his own free will. The Post adds that Gang started donating in 2011, a year after he began studying to be a doctor in 2011.
[via New York Post]
