Today is Cinco de Mayo, meaning people have an excuse to drink copious amounts of liquor, then go to work tomorrow feeling like they sustained several Rick Mahorn elbows to the head. People mistakenly assume that Cinco de Mayo is Mexican Independence Day, but that's Grito de Dolores, which falls on Sep. 16. So just like on St. Patrick's Day, folks are getting drunk for all the wrong reasons. Also like St. Patrick's Day, Cinco de Drinko is one of the liquor-fueled drinking holidays that people eagerly anticipate, though it actually exceeds its celebratory drunk cousin.
Consider all you love about St. Patrick's Day, then think about how Cinco de Mayo comes around nearly two months later to outdo it. If you're struggling to remember, this justification for why Cinco de Mayo is better than St. Patrick's Day will jolt your memory like that first shot of tequila, lime shortage be damned.