This Week's Most Ratchet Crimes in America

You can't believe everything you read on the Internet, but you can believe in the enduring presence of ratchet news.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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The word "ratchet" may be played out, but until the Internet agrees upon a more accurate description for these crimes, it will have to do. These stories are sad, imaginative, and they inspire us to have conversations about race, class, and the American dream

This week's roundup includes a ninja robbery, cat kicking, and lots of public indecency. Each crime is rated on our Ratchet Metera base-10 logarithmic scale modeled after a similar system developed by Charles Richter—except that the Ratchet Meter has nothing to do with science because it's not actually a real thing. 

Read on for the best of the worst ratchet crimes in America. Proceed with caution, stay safe, don't try this at home, and send your tips to cityguidetips@complex.com.

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A Sordid Tale of Assault, Tasing and Baby Mama Drama

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Someone Tried to Sneak 18 Pounds of Cocaine Into JFK International Airport

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A Church Is the Wrong Place for Anything Sexual, Especially During a Wedding

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Brooklyn Man Arrested for Kicking Defenseless Stray Cat

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Philadelphia Man Shamelessly Masturbates Aboard Crowded Bus

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Captain America Can't Be Your Hero Anymore After This

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It's Really Easy to Buy Alcohol Underage in Brooklyn

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Man Falls Asleep Aboard NYC Subway with Loaded Gun

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Bumbling Fool Robs Georgia Waffle House with Pitchfork

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Florida Amusement Park Magnate Robbed by Three Ninjas

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