Imagine the mounting rage of a man who only got girls to talk to him in college by becoming a promoter, then continuing to do it aimlessly into adulthood, He might front like he's about to take the LSAT and the GRE, or even act like this is just a side hustle, but no, this is it for him. His flawless style masks insecurity, which comes out around other dudes he feels threatened by and women he can't get.

Though his phone is filled with female contacts, it's only because they use him to get into VIP sections or get free drinks. Those same girls will then hand you at least one of those free drinks, leaving dude glaring at you like you did something wrong. That's exactly why he tries to keep guys who are risks to his insufficient self-confidence out of the venue. If only there was an app for low self-esteem.

1. First pair of real earrings
2. Windsor knot
3. Well-tailored suit
4. iPhone used for fielding texts from women who only acknowledge him for VIP section access
5. Nice watch, but not the Audemars Piguet he longs for 
6. Wingtips 

Related Douche: The Insecure Doorman Douche