His entire aura is shamelessly derivative of Matthew McConaughey. He's in impeccable shape from dedication to the CrossFit lifestyle, and wears a fresh glaze of fitness douche sweat. Because he wants the world to know he's in good shape, he's often shirtless, though the Nike sign from his Dri-FIT top is etched into his chest like some horrible bro tat. His worst quality, self-importance aside, is his belief that he is the omniscient fitness God. Just stick to your workout and stop flexing for the women, dog. You can't cover self-doubt with a layer of muscle.

1. Pointless weightlifting gloves
2. Nike sign burned into his chest by Dri-FIT shirt
3. Requisite workout shorts 
4. Cross-trainers 

Related Douche: The Impatient Jogger Douche