Big-Deal Movies I'm Most Excited About

Neighbors (May 9)

My colleagues tell me I will laugh and laugh at frat house vs. normal people hi jinks. Okay, I say. I am ready. (But really—I enjoyed This Is the End, and if this makes me feel like I'm 16 and watching Old School for the first time, I can live with that.)

Maleficent (May 30)

If Jolie deems us worthy (and gets Disney to come up off the sunshine and money), this will be the exercise in diva excess so many of us need it to be. Punish us, Maleficent. Don't do us dirty by redeeming yourself or anyone else. Just be nasty.

Lucy (August 8)

When Matthew McConaughey ascended to heaven at the Oscars, born into the clouds on a pallet of Lone Star cases granted the power of flight by the divine creator, the world felt the lack of a Hollywood star to champion afresh. Enter, Scarlett Johansson. She just deposited $20M for The Avengers 2, but what she really needs is our support. So I'm gonna see Lucy, her remake of Bradley Cooper's Limitless. Because what Limitless needed was to be emptied of Bradley Cooper.

Indie Movies I'm Most Excited About

We Are the Best! (May 30)

Swedish director Lukas Moodysson is tough to pin down. He's made near-experimental work about pornography and vomit (A Hole in My Heart), and sweet social dramas about leftist politics and communes (Together). His latest movie is more in line with the latter. An adaptation of his partner's graphic novel, We Are the Best! follows a group of teenage girls in the '80s who want to start a punk band. And so they do.

Night Moves (May 30)

Kelly Reichardt is one of America's best filmmakers, and Night Moves is her latest. Jesse Eisenberg and Dakota Fanning star in a drama about activists in the Pacific Northwest. I haven't even watched the trailer, that's how much I trust Reichardt. Get these two in some dumpy clothes, slow the tempo to a crawl, and trim the dialogue back until every half-started syllable counts—let's get lost.

Boyhood (July 11)

Richard Linklater (Before Midnight, one of last year's greats) started shooting this movie over a decade ago, in 2002. He's shot the film with the same cast, creating a document of the aging process. Boyhood is the subject. If you need to know more, we can't be friends.  

Movies I Think Will Suck

A Million Ways to Die in the West (May 30)

Seth MacFarlane is gross. Send him out.

Edge of Tomorrow (June 6)

Tom Cruise is old. Send him out.

Think Like a Man Too (June 20)

Retrograde thinking about masculinity is v. basic. Send it out.

The Biggest Question Marks for Me

Godzilla (May 16)

Maybe the scarring from the Madison Square Garden/Jurassic Park mashup is too deep. Or maybe a good marketing campaign isn't enough to transform a question mark into an exclam. In other words, Kanye shrug?

The Fault in Our Stars (June 6)

My colleague would take a bullet for this movie, but I'm wary. Will it be on par with The Spectacular Now? Or will it be the #feelings equivalent of torture porn? Remember, both of the leads are dying of cancer. It's A Walk to Remember on grief steroids.

Guardians of the Galaxy (August 1)

Could be fun, right? Or it could be #fun torture porn. The "a-holes" joke in the trailer is like a cry for help. Please, please laugh. If you don't, they'll kill our families.