We all take a little twisted pleasure in the shortcomings of our exes. It's human nature. When we notice they've gained weight or married a carnie, we can't help but find a little joy. Just be advised, schadenfreude is not a good look. In those moments when you smugly gloat about the depths your ex has fallen to, you are giving up valuable real estate in your head. This means that in reality they're the ones scoring a victory. Friends will tolerate you gloating about your ex for an appropriate amount of time (one week for every three months you were together divided by the number of hook-ups you've had since you broke up), but the only thing you should be telling strangers about your ex is that they're no longer part of the picture.