The Best or Worst Pickup Lines Overheard by Local NYC Bartenders

The best and worst pick-up lines overheard by New York bartenders.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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New York bartenders put up with a lot of shit. But one of the most painful parts of the job is witnessing gag-inducing come-ons night after night. What’s even worse is seeing them work. I spoke with more than 30 bartenders in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens, to find out what kind of game New York guys have. After extensive research, I discovered that pick-up lines come in three categories: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Before we get into the actual lines, here's what I mean. 

The Good:

The following lines are bartender approved. They usually work and you wouldn’t be ashamed to tell your kids it’s what you used to meet their mother. 

The Bad:

They might be a bit deceptive or corny, but at least you’re giving it the old college try. Though college is probably the only place you should use them. These are lines that we condone but don’t necessarily encourage.

The Ugly:

These are lines that will have a girl looking you up on the sex offender registry instead of Facebook. And yes, just like all the others, these have actually been used.

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"Can I buy you a drink?"

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"Hi, I'm [Name]. What's yours? Mind if I sit here?"

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"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice."

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"You look like somebody I would like to meet."

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"What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like this?"

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"Do you have a pen? Good. Can you write down my number?"

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"I would drink your bath water."

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"My friends bet me that I couldn't start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Want to buy some drinks with their money?"

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"[Pinches butt] Sorry about that. Another drink should ease the pain."

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"Jamie? From Conn. Law, right? [Pause.] I'm just kidding. I'm not in law school. I just wanted an excuse to meet you."

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"I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you."

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"You're so selfish. You're going to have that body your whole life. And I just want it for one night."

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"[Holding a cigarette.] Do you smoke? I need a lighter. No? Me neither. Terrible habit. [Throws cigarette over shoulder]."

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"I'm just visiting for the weekend and don't know what to do while I'm here. Any recommendations?"

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"Nice pair of legs. What time do they open?"

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"I'm sorry, I know I probably shouldn't be saying this, but I think are absolutely beautiful. I would love to give you a call sometime and take you out to dinner. Are you in?"

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"I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So would you smile for me?"

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"I'm an astronaut. And my next mission is to explore Uranus."

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"I don't usually say this, but that dress looks really good on you. It's really quite stunning."

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"I just got my heart broken. Would you mind distracting me?"

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"I don't play guitar. But I'd sure like to pluck your G-string."

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"Mind if I get drunk with you?"

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"If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would choose winning the lottery. But it would be close. Real close."

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"Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is pretty fucked up."

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