Who’s your pick to reach the 2014 World Series?

The Los Angeles Dodgers and the Boston Red Sox? Perhaps the St. Louis Cardinals and the Detroit Tigers. Maybe the New York Yankees vs. the Atlanta Braves.

Neither of those match ups would make baseball fans bat an eye, but we thought it would be cool to imagine what the most improbable World Series might look like. With MLB 14: The Show dropping today for PlayStation 3, we simulated something that would best be described as a sick baseball fantasy.

With MLB 14 The Show dropping today for PlayStation 3, we simulated something that would best be described as a sick baseball fantasy. Or, the greatest April Fool's Day prank ever played. A World Series featuring the Miami Marlins and the Houston Astros.

Or, the greatest April Fool's Day prank ever played.

A World Series featuring the Miami Marlins and the Houston Astros.

Together, the two teams combined for 211 losses in 2013. The hapless Astros lost their last 10 games and four of their last 20.

The Marlins weren’t much better, but they did at least have a winning record in their last 10 ball games. Nonetheless, they sucked royally in 2013 too. That’s why this simulation is so fun—or demented.

Without further ado, let’s look at what happened in this series of diamond futility.

In Game 1, the Marlins put their ace Jose Fernandez on the mound. He’s one of the only legitimate players on either team. Dude is just 21 years old, but he was lights out in 2013. He won 12 games and struck out 187 batters in 172.2 innings. For those that don’t know, that’s pretty good.

In Game 1 of the simulation, Fernandez was every bit as good virtually as he was in real life last season.

In all, Fernandez struck out non in eight innings of work. He got a little bored (or tired) in the ninth and had to be lifted for Steve Cishek. Still, the Marlins took Game 1 4-2 behind Fernandez’s solid performance. The man with the most gangster name in professional sports, Giancarlo Stanton had three hits to help lead the offense.

Marlins Lead Series 1-0

In Game 2, the Astros were intent upon not embarrassing themselves nearly as much as they did last year.

Houston jumped out to a quick start behind this grand slam off the bat of Robbie Grossman. The big blow gave Houston a 5-0 lead in the very first inning.

Grossman wasn’t done victimizing the Marlins. and starter Jacob Turner. Miami had drawn a little closer until Grossman went yard again to push the lead to 7-4.

The ‘Fightin’ Fish were resilient, though. They pulled the lead within a run again, but Chris Carter said get gone on this pitch in the sixth inning to give the Stros a 9-6 lead.

The Houston bullpen would hold…sort of. It gave up two runs in the ninth, but still won 11-8. Grossman was a beast with six RBI in that game.

Series Tied at 1-1

The series shifted to Miami for Game 3. The home team wasted no time getting after the visitors. The man whose name sounds like an Italian seasoning, Jarrod Saltalamacchia got this RBI single to give Miami a 1-0 lead.

The Astros would respond with an infield single by Jason Castro to tie the game.

In the seventh inning with the Marlins leading 3-1, the Italian Seasoning wasn’t done. He had another RBI single to run the lead to 4-1 in favor of the Marlins.

That would be the final score as starter Henderson Alvarez went six innings to earn the win.

The Marlins take the lead in the series.

Marlins lead the series 2-1


At the opening of Game 4, looking to move one game away from the most pitiful title known to man, the Marlins sent Nathan Eovaldi to the mound, and they wore their prison orange tops for effect.

In the spirit of the uni, Garrett Jones got downright thuggish with this Brad Peacock offering. It smacks off the foul pole to give the Marlins the 1-0 lead.

The Marlins are throwing some leather in the game as well. Marcell Ozuna robs (another criminal reference) Grossman with a sliding grab in centerfield.

Do you think uniform makers have to shrink the font size just get his name on the back of his jersey? Anyway, the Marlins comeback had just begun. Brian Bogusevic came up with runners on first and second. This line drive to center put Dexter Fowler in peril. somebody tell me why he would try to dive in this situation…

You have to make sure the ball doesn’t get behind you, no matter what. What does ole Dex do? He lets the ball get hind him. Clearly he has an issue with his virtual frontal lobe.

This misplay in the field causes the tying run to score and all of a sudden, the Marlins have tied the game with a five-run rally in the eighth inning.

With Bogusevic on third, Rafael Furcal comes up just needing a fly ball to give the Marlins the lead. Flyball-shmyball. Furcal goes yard just for good measure.

The Marlins exploded for eight runs in the inning to take a 9-6 lead into the ninth.

Just three outs from a World Are You Serious championship, the Marlins’ Steve Cishek gets the final out of the game.

The Marlins win the fantasy World Series with the least amount of talent ever played. Hope you enjoyed this, because you’ll never see it in real life.

Marlins Win the Series 4-1. Wow, the Astros really are that bad.