It's official: Nothing else this morning will matter as much as this matters. Apparently, all the way back in a distant decade called "the '90s," one of the world's coolest dudes, Jon Hamm—Don Draper himself, the O.G., king of the world, whatever you wanna call him—appeared on a dating show (hosted by a Mark L. Walberg, no less) titled The Big Date. He was 25, he had insanely floppy '90s hair that would have made Dawson Leary jealous, and he offered women "fabulous food, fabulous conversation, with a fabulous foot massage."
...OK, so it took a little time for the O.G. to smooth out his game. (Pro tip: Offering women a foot massage before you have even bought them dinner doesn't make you look considerate, it just makes you look like Quentin Tarantino.) But he's clearly learned now! Hamm has been with his partner, Kissing Jessica Stein and Friends With Kids star Jennifer Westfeldt since 1997, and the two of them seem ridiculously and grossly in love all the time.
Anyway, even with that whole foot massage comment, the two women that turn him down on this show are probably kicking themselves because DON DRAPER.
I MEAN. COME ON.