Gavin McInnes of How to Fight a Baby fame recently teamed up with Vans' OffTheWall.TV to create a video series entitled How to Do Everything in the World. You may find yourself saying, “That’s a lot to cover,” but never fear, because the self-proclaimed "Godfather of Hipsterdom" has brought you the only five guides you will ever need to make it through life as we know it. In the first video, featured above, Gavin teaches us all how to properly drink in a bar. In an exclusive interview, we spoke with the comedian to find out what exactly his beef with modern-day bars was. Turns out, it was more like multiple beefs.
Interview by Rob Gearity (@Grobbington)
Why this How-To?
A bar is a place where all you should do is brood. I don’t know what happened to this culture. It used to be about grumpy old men going there to sulk…if there was conversation, it would be about the booze…and I enjoy that part of it.
I do hate when people ask if they can charge their phone, or worse, just expect it—like they get mad if the bartender doesn’t charge their phone. Get your shit together okay? You don’t need your mini computer all charged up in your hand.”
Sounds like a good amount of this is based on real life experience. Any more examples?
Yes! I was waiting for a flight at the airport and ran to the bar for a Maker’s Double before boarding, but these guys are hogging our time with two blackberry margaritas which take like a day to make. I’m staring at them just seething, about to miss the flight. Right next to them is a woman sitting there having a Bud. So, in a Scottish accent I say, "Here in America, a woman can be having a Bud and a guy’ll be drinking a blackberry margarita?" They sort of giggled and looked at me and said, "Not normal." And that made me even more mad—that they weren’t ashamed of themselves. And then I just said, "Do ya get spray tans too?" and I walked off in a rage and I thought, the world needs to know about this—we have a problem here.
So no complicated drinks. What’s your go-to bar order?
Maker's, rocks. I just quit for forty days for Lent and it was like being murdered. I like to temper it with a Budweiser and a Guinness, just to spread out the pace.
Have you ever felt like smacking someone’s drink away from them in real life?
It took a lot of willpower not to smack those guys’ drinks away [at the airport.] The best part of making this video was being able to finally do that.
Was there one moment in filming that was particularly difficult just because it was too funny?
Not really. It was hard to get women to laugh loud enough. I don’t think they realize how loud they laugh when they are drunk, ya know, it basically shatters wine glasses.
Complex will be getting the inside story on each of Gavin’s insanely accurate and funny life guides. Make sure to check back for exclusive behind-the-scenes coverage, photos and, of course, more interviews with the originator himself.