Breaker Breaker 1-9: This Week's Most Ratchet Crimes in America

Ratchet crime reserves the right not to discriminate: DUIs, domestic violence and murder are all up for grabs.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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The word "ratchet" may be played out, but until the Internet agrees upon a more accurate description for these crimes, it will have to do. These stories are sad, imaginative, and they inspire us to have conversations about race, class and the American dreamThis week's roundup includes arson by way of bacon, public masturbation, and lots of DUIs. Each crime is rated on our Ratchet Metera base-10 logarithmic scale modeled after a similar system developed by Charles Richter—except that the Ratchet Meter has nothing to do with science because it's not actually a real thing. Read on for the best of the worst ratchet crimes in America. Proceed with caution, stay safe, don't try this at home, and send your tips to cityguidetips@complex.com.

RELATED: Breaker Breaker 1-9: This Week's Most Ratchet Crimes in America
RELATED: Breaker Breaker 1-9: This Week's Most Ratchet Crimes in America
RELATED: Breaker Breaker 1-9: This Week's Most Ratchet Crimes in America

NYC Masseuse Slashed for Refusing to Give Man Happy Ending

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Philadelphia Man Held Captive, Beaten, Tattooed By Roommates

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Florida Man Arranges Phony Home Invasion to Avoid Work

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Couple Scheduled to Appear on "Maury" Gets Into Sordid Pre-Show Fight

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Millionaire Heir Who Raped 3-Year-Old Daughter Avoided Jail Because Judge Didn't Think He'd Be Safe

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Teen Murders Best Friend After She Uploads Naked Selfies to Facebook

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Moronic South Carolina Woman Falsely Reports School Shooting as April Fool's Day Prank

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A Las Vegas Masseuse Stole a Client's $35,000 Rolex and Hid It in Her Vagina

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Florida Woman Defecates in Courthouse Elevator

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Florida Man Found Passed Out in Car Clutching Burrito

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A Complicated Tale of Yoga, Public Masturbation, National Parks and Dead Animal Throwing

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Don't Brag About Passing a Breathalyzer Test on Facebook

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Catholic Priest Caught with Drugs, Guns While Driving Drunk in Alaska

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Georgia Teen Goes on Reckless Spending Spree After Bank Gives Him $31,000 By Mistake

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Utah Woman Named "Crispi" Arrested for Trying to Burn Ex-Boyfriend's House Down with Bacon

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