A real job with, like, a 401K and an email signature isn’t just a way to supplement your marijuana habit—it’s a lifestyle. Principally, it’s a lifestyle that requires you to wake up at 6:30 a.m.—every damn day—for the next four decades. If you’re mowing down noobs and screaming obscenities into a headset every night, then you’re not going to be ready for “urgent” emails and staff meetings. Grow up and get serious about life, son.
You stay up late to play Call of Duty on the nightly.