So, you've defied the odds and landed a real job with, like, an email signature and paid time off. Congratulations! But, before you decorate your cubicle and order custom stationary, it's important to know the ropes. In this economy, the job market is flooded with people who are underemployed, overworked, and—consequently—not really in the mood to deal with your shit. If you want to make it to retirement (or at least this year's office holiday party), then you have to be on the top of your game. Since it's more important to know what not to do, this comprehensive guide highlights the "don'ts" of cubicle life. Don't screw it up.

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