St. Patrick's Day is a yearly tradition in which we celebrate the patron saint of Ireland by getting irresponsibly drunk at 9 a.m. and vomiting in the back of a squad car. It doesn't matter if you're from Davenport, Iowa or New York City, you will see two adult men dressed as Leprechauns scrap in a fast food restaurant this weekend. To prepare you for the inevitable, we've gathered some of the most ridiculous news stories from St. Patrick's Days past. If you have an idea of what to look for (read: plastered weirdo swigging from an open bottle of Jameson), then you'll know what to avoid. Set aside some bail money and make sure to drink plenty of water as we detail A Recent History of Drunken St. Patrick's Day Shenanigans.

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