So, in case you missed it, the Oscars are happening tonight. A lot of ridiculous stuff will be going on during the red carpet and the following show, and you can be sure we'll be pointing it all out right here.
Ready...set...Oscars!
Update #1: 6:38 PM
Let's kick things off right: And by right, I mean, let's all look at E!'s weird replacement for the 360º glam cam. Apparently, they've decided that filming from an above angle would be a good idea.
It's not.
Update #2: 6:42 PM
...except when it involves June Squibb. Then it's an amazing and adorable idea.
Update #3: 6:52 PM
Kristen Chenoweth adorably photobombs Barkhad Abdi. J-Law hasn't even arrived, though, so we're sure there will be more.
Update #4: 7:18 PM
Let's all take a moment to "aww" at a few aww-worthy moments happening on the red carpet right now...first: Jason Sudeikis taking an iPhone picture of fiancée Olivia Wilde as she poses for photographers on the red carpet.
Aww.
Second: Jared Leto and June Squibb walking arm-in-arm on the red carpet, like the adorable little duo they are.
Aww.
Update #5: 7:29 PM
Steve Coogan feels the same way we do about E!'s Glam Cam.
Update #6: 7:31 PM
Also, Jennifer Lawrence has already tripped.
Update #7: 7:38 PM
And now, with video!
Update #8: 7:58 PM
At least she was back in full form a few minutes later.
Update #9: 8:09 PM
Jimmy Kimmel rips all of us sitting at home tweeting snark. We aren't eating Cheetos, but we would if we had some. We can't help it Jimmy, we're hopeless and awkward and desperate for love, just like Chandler Bing.
Update #10: 8:30 PM
WARNING: Liza Minelli is not wearing a bra.
Replacing all the dreamcatchers in my house with Liza Minnelli's areola. #ERedCarpet #Oscars2014 @cmbenz 911 pic.twitter.com/9av2ozeL5V
Update #11 8:45 PM
Jared Leto wins best supporting actor and gives a touching speech about a teen mom who just so happens to be his mother, whom he also brought as a date. Adorable! He also shouts out the protesters in Ukraine and Venezuela.
...also, his hair is magnificent.
Amazing Smiling Jesus/Jared Leto comparison of the night #Oscars pic.twitter.com/MnWXIvQe2X
Update #12: 8:53 PM
Pharrell performs "Happy" and dances with Lupita Nyong'o, Meryl Streep, and Amy Adams as he does. Also, the hat is back, and it's great.
Pharrell and his ************** hat pic.twitter.com/c6W1qJYns3
Update #13: 9:10 PM
Here's that selfie Ellen took onstage. #blessed
Update #14: 9:29 PM
This screencap though.
Look for Martin Scorsese in the back.
Update #15: 9:43 PM
20 Feet From Stardom just won, and then this happened:
Update #16: 9:55 PM
Bill Murray got it.
Update #17 10:06 PM
The most epic selfie of all time? YEP.
the most epic selfie of all time #Oscars2014 pic.twitter.com/MmosL3oPwm
And here's the actual selfie, which is just as epic.
If only Bradley's arm was longer. Best photo ever. #oscars pic.twitter.com/C9U5NOtGap
Update #18: 10:17 PM
Lupita Nyong'o wins Best Supporting Actress for her role in 12 Years a Slave, and gives a tearful, genuinely thankful speech, dedicating her award to the real-life Patsy. "Thank you so much for putting me in this position," she says to director Steve McQueen. "It has been the joy of my life."
Update #19: 10:51 PM
To get us all through these commercials right now...how about this?
Update #20: 10:53 PM
Host Ellen DeGeneres is killing it with the costume changes. This is a favorite of ours.
Update #21: 11:05 PM
According to host Ellen DeGeneres, the selfie she took did end up becoming the most retweeted selfie of all time, in addition to crashing Twitter. Goal reached!
Update #22: 11:11 PM
NEWS ALERT: John Travolta has no idea how to say Idina Menzel's name. Adele Dazin? C'mon, dude, that's not even close.
Update #23 11:16 PM
Never forget: Bette Midler making wing motions as she sings "Wind Beneath My Wings."
Update #24: 11:26 PM
Uh, guys...is Jamie Foxx OK? Real talk.
Update #25: 11:30 PM
In other news, the Internets are, as always, keeping on top of trends.
THANK YOU, JORN TROMOLTO!
Update #26: 11:52 PM
Best actor...Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club!
Sorry, Leo. :(
Update #27: 11:58 PM
Turns out, the Academy went with option A: 12 Years a Slave just took home the Oscar for Best Picture. Steve McQueen accepted his award by jumping up and down on stage.
Update #28: 12:02 AM
And that's all! If you're still following along with us, kudos: You are awesome. Signing off for the night, it's news editor Tanya Ghahremani, and contributing writer Nancy Stiles.
[Images via TylerPerryPresents, The Cut, AngelasMartin, ISalsaYourFace, Femburton]
