If you tuned into Lindsay Lohan's OWN docu-series, Lindsay, expecting to see the troubled actress embroiled in a throwdown with a costar like a reality show straight off Bravo, you were sorely disappointed last night when the premiere actually aired: As it turns out, Lindsay is actually a fairly raw look into Lohan's life immediately following her release from court-mandated rehab, not a trashy reality show that you'll tell all of your friends you don't watch when, in reality, you double check every week that your DVR is going to record it. 

So, what happened last night during the big premiere? Let's get started:

As the episode opens, we get a look at a conversation that Lohan had with Oprah Winfrey, the co-creator of this very docu-series, just before their highly anticipated tell-all interview this past summer. Oprah asks Lohan what she wants from this interview, and Lohan tells her that she wants to be "real"—which, fair enough.

Apparently, Lindsay is weary of the toxic, booze/drug-filled landscape of Los Angeles now that she's clean and sober, so she's planning a move to NYC in an effort to be closer to her family (her mother, Dina, lives in Long Island) and keep herself grounded. As we watch Lindsay pack up 10 years worth of belongings that are being kept in storage—note that it's pretty much more stuff than most of us have accumulated all our lives—the scene inter-cuts with man on the street interviews in NYC, of people talking about their opinions of Lindsay. Some used to be fans, some still are. Some pity her, and some wonder how she'll ever be taken seriously again. It's all seemingly to paint the picture that the world is against Lindsay's recovery and step back into the limelight. How bleak, and it's not even 20 minutes in!


Lindsay eventually makes it to NYC, and, unfortunately for her, the paparazzi immediately follow. She's hounded outside of her hotel as she attempts to apartment hunt in Soho, and is unable to attend an AA meeting with her sober life coach because she doesn't want to lead the photographers to the meeting where other AA members would be photographed as well. "Do you ever feel like you're a prisoner?" Lohan is asked, as she fumbles with jewelry on the floor of her pricy hotel room.

"Yes. All the time," Lohan answers point blank, sadly, before going back to her jewelry and relaying a story about how when she was in jail, she was put into the cell next to bling ring member Alexis Neiers, who had robbed her home with a few other teens just the year prior. "They let her out when I got put in," Lindsay says. I'm sure Alexis Neiers has something to say about that...

Ahem. Anyway.

The series also details Lindsay's decision to not attend the Venice Film Festival to promote her new film The Canyons, which made headlines last August. Apparently, Lindsay didn't feel that being in that film festival environment would be the best idea for her so soon post-rehab, and her sober life coach agreed, so she dropped out of the gig. Director Paul Schrader didn't see it that way, and we see a clip of him at the festival telling reporters that he's been "held hostage" by an actress for the past few months, but Lindsay doesn't seem to mind—apartment hunting in the city, and fulfilling her commitment to appear in a lingerie shoot are taking up more of her time.

Unfortunately for her, the lingerie shoot doesn't exactly go according to plan. When Lindsay arrives at the gig, she's told that the concept behind the shoot has been changed, and she now has some dialogue in the commercial. As she thought it was originally going to be just photos, Lindsay flips, and pulls out of the commercial after throwing a bona fide fit in the hair and make-up room. While models pout downstairs, Lindsay chain smokes on the roof, and tells the director that he shouldn't have changed the concept of the shoot before consulting her.


Later, Lindsay attends a show at New York Fashion Week to support her friend, the designer, as well as her sister, who is walking in the show. It's a happy moment for her, but afterwards, Lindsay gets into a fight with her realtor over an apartment she wants to sign the lease to. Apparently, she's getting sick and tired of living out of a hotel, and desperately needs a change—but she can't agree to a term on the lease demanding she purchase a $10 million insurance policy. She doesn't understand the necessity for this, because, as she says:

As she shakes in anger and chain smokes, she asks her personal assistant if they can change rooms in the hotel to give her somewhat of a change until the apartment situation can be straightened out. He rushes back to the hotel to switch the rooms before she can return, and we're treated to shots of him lugging her belongings from room to room, alone, inter-cut with shots of Lindsay saying that she's ready to be independent and do things on her own. I see what you did there, editing team. 

And that's about it for this week. In the next seven episodes, we're promised a lot more of Lindsay trying to regain her independence and fame, but it doesn't seem like all goes to plan—at one point, Oprah flies to NYC to tell Lohan what's what, and to "cut the bullshit." When Oprah curses, you know you done messed up.

We're really rooting for you, Linds. Don't let us down.

[Images via Lindsaygifs, bricesander, CollegeCandy, bricesander, Lindsaygifs]