The Most Pointless Achievements and Trophies in Video Games

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Complex Original

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Are you a self-avowed trophy whore?

Have hunting achievements and earning trophies completely changed the way you play? Are you more concerned with platinuming titles than actually enjoying them? Has hunting down every last hidden collectible subsumed all of your actual gameplay time?

If it has, that's on you, bruh. Achievements and trophies have their time and place. And, for the most part, they deservedly reward gamers for accomplishments of skill and ability.

Other times, not so fucking much.

There are some A/T (achievements/trophies) that we'd like to see done away with completely. If developers are going to try and extend the shelf life of titles, they should drop the reward-padding that constitutes the following 'achievements'.

Hunting Collectibles

The HPV of achievements, hunting collectibles can be found everywhere. Games oftentime add collectible hunting as a means of distracting gamers from how short a title may be. If the collectibles are functional and end up increasing health/strength, that's one thing. Even if the collectibles broaden the narrative in some way, like the audio logs in Transformers: Fall of Cybertron did, that's got some measure of merit. But, forcing players to scavenge map after map for items that offer no redeeming qualities other than the justification their own existence can piss off. 

Story Progression High-Five!

In Batman: Arkham City, you begin the game as Bruce Wayne. You're detained, put in prison, promptly escape, and don your Batsuit on the roof of said prison. It's an unavoidable event that, ya' know, begins the game. For doing nothing, you're given an A/T. Which seems down right fuck-tarded because we bought the game to play as Batman. We didn't buy Bruce Wayne: Alter Ego Simulator, the game that forces you to attend WayneCorp board meetings, go on dates with beautiful women you don't sleep with, and order bottles of champagne you don't drink.

We didn't do anything yet, don't reward us so quickly.

Pity Achievements

Dead Space 3 has a collection of worthy achievements that any gamer would be proud to earn. The 'Heaven Can Wait' achievement isn't one of them. You get this achievement by using Stasis on your partner. So, in co-op mode you leaning over, pressing a single button, and reviving your buddy rewards you with an A/T. Press X to increase your gamer score would be a more fitting title for this reward.

Multiple Playthroughs/Beating the Game Again

Unlocking higher difficulty settings after an initial playthrough on a game is nothing new, it's been around forever. But, do you need an A/T for it? Isn't the higher difficulty reward enough? Returning to a title for a second go-round can be awesome, but why are developers making unlocking a difficulty setting an event worthy of praise? Give me the option to play the game as difficult as I want at the onset of the game, I've been doing this for a while now.

Online Trophies of Any Flavor

Setting aside that most online matches end up sounding like the Taliban training twelve-year-olds to be racist idiots, any A/t that is predicated on simply logging on is meaningless. Play ten matches online and I get a trophy? What the hell does that have to do with skill in any capacity? Reach level 20? That also seems like a matter of time as opposed to skill. Most online-based A/T are a matter of attrition, play long enough, even if your'e terrible and you'll still be rewarded. There's actually a measurable amount of negative skill involved with any A/T given out for simply paying subscription fees to either XBL or PSN. Nope. 

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