The Giants name wasn't in good hands in 1994. That was the year the team got blown out by the 49ers in the playoffs (44-3—yes, it was that bad) and finished the subsequent season with a 9-7 record—not good enough to make the playoffs. The Giants name took a further trashing thanks to a group of tragically unathletic kids and that dude from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids with the film Little Giants.

If you were one of the few children deprived of seeing the movie, it revolves around a gas station manager (Rick Moranis) who makes the decision to teach a group of pee-wee football rejects that life is fair by forming a team of their own: the Little Giants. His brother (played by Ed O'Neil) is a local hero who's won three high school national championships, a national collegiate title, an All-American title, and a Heisman, only to possibly go on to become an NFL Draft bust—no one mentions his pro career. He coaches the brolic local pee-wee football team, the Cowboys. Long story short, the two brothers pit their teams against each other in a winner-doesn't-take-much-of-anything scenario. The Little Giants end up winning in typical family-movie fashion, making the obesity and paternal issues here a non-factor.

Do dark horses win in real life? You know the answer to that if you're a Giants fan. New York isn't in the Super Bowl this year though; it's the Denver Broncos vs. the Seattle Seahawks. Although it's not by much, Seattle's the underdog by 2.5 points. Do the Seahawks and the Little Giants have their similarities? Of course. Check them out on Understanding the Seahawks Through Little Giants GIFs.

Danny O'Shea Is...Pete Carroll (Coach)

Pete Carroll and Danny O'Shea's respective rises aren't that far apart given how they were both laughing stocks before the come-up. Carroll went through a one-year stint as the New York Jets' head coach and a three-year stay as the New England Patriots' head coach. He was fired from both jobs.

He finally decided to start winning at the turn of the millennium as he won two national championships at USC and led the Seahawks into being a dominant threat in the NFC. With his current team, it's looking like Carroll's route will be closer to Ed O'Neil's post-Little Giants acting career than Rick Moranis' stalled path.


Becky 'Icebox' O'Shea Is...Richard Sherman (Cornerback)

Although Richard Sherman would do more taunting and a lot less "I don't pay bills or heard Gudda Gudda rap, but you don't understand the struggle, dad"-type moments, he and Icebox are alike in that they're the emotional core and face of their respective teams. When Icebox loves, she loves hard—whether it's the game or her quarterback crush. Although Sherman and O'Shea lack an interpersonal skill called "tact", they do what they're born to do on the field well and in the clutch

 

Junior Is...Russell Wilson (Quarterback)

Both are solid quarterbacks, calm under pressure, and have a sharp smiles. Seriously. Go look at this picture of Russell Wilson and see if you don't at least get a twinkle in your eye. In addition to having personalities quieter than their teams' main stars, Wilson and Junior don't make their bread or screen time carrying their teams as much as they manage the game. 

 

Johnny "Viper" Vennaro Is...Marshawn Lynch (Running Back)

Disregard the dreadlocks, a stiff arm, a couple of trucks, some melanin, puberty, the earthquake, the score, and the "Hold My Dick" celebration, and what you have here is the original rendition of Marshawn Lynch's famed 67-yard run in the 2011 playoffs. This is the type of run that can only be bred from the deepest of struggles—or getting kicked in the balls at full force. 

 

Rudy Zolteck Is...Max Unger (Center)

It's not that they wouldn't love to win a championship, but the two are just happy to be here. They're not too happy to forget to do their jobs though. Unger was selected for the Pro Bowl and Zolteck made the fart that cleared up a running path for a key play.

 

Pete Berman Is...Percy Harvin (Wide Receiver)

You probably shouldn't say this about about a kid, but at the risk of sounding like a shitty guy: EEWWWWW. What other human has arms that frail? What's even more mind blowing is how Pete Berman had more plays in this movie than Percy Harvin did this entire season. Harvin was sidelined for the majority of the year before coming back in the playoffs, only to get a concussion on his first game back.

 

Rashid "Hot Hands" Hanon Is...Golden Tate (Wide Receiver)

Both make impressive catches, although one of them makes it without that shit on their jersey. Seriously, that does not look FDA-, or anything at all really, approved.

 

Marcus "The Toe" Is...Jon Ryan (Punter)

Both are decent, but still have their share of fails (see above, obviously). Jon Ryan got straight-up bamboozled when he tried to make a tackle, which is something a punter shouldn't do. 

Side Note: Did that kid really take a shot to the testicles? If so, he must have severely misplaced balls because that definitely looked like he got kicked in the inner thigh. You lying, bro.

 

BONUS: Kevin O'Shea Is...Peyton Manning (Quarterback of the Broncos)

These two are more than just the favorites and have the most accolades; they're actually likable. Little Giants could've definitely painted this O'Shea as an obnoxious, self-centered, more athletic Al Bundy. Rather, the O'Shea we got is a bit selfish, but not so much so that he was douchey and unsympathetic. He provides words of encouragement to Icebox, relents when his brother asks to have his name included on the town's water tower, reprimands Spike's father for purposely trying to take out Junior, and decides not to further reprimand him for complaining after the loss. Even Patriots fans would pay their respects to Peyton Manning not only because he's The Peyton Manning, but also because he's a class act.

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