Identity Quizzes are the New #Longreads

The Internet knows you better than you know yourself.

Image via chembio.niu.edu

Last week, Newswhip reported that BuzzFeed’s Editorial Director Jack Shepherd said quizzes should be treated as a “legitimate story format.” In other words, quizzes are not just click bait for the bored and lonely cubicle worker. Quizzes are intelligent, engaging and thought-provoking. One could argue that the quiz is much like a long-form essay, but with fewer words. 

The Buzzfeed quiz “What State Do You Actually Belong In” set a new record for the website. Similarly, the New York Times quiz “How Y’all, Youse and You Guys Talk” was very successful. One way to explain the popularity of “identity quizzes” is that they make you think seriously about who you really are and where you are from. They are like an unguent over your existential wounds.

Another explanation is that the Internet has a vested interest in keeping readers confused. You tell the Internet you live in New York, the Internet says you belong in Tokyo. The Internet doesn't lie, so you better start packing.

Now it’s time to find out what Buzzfeed quiz you really, actually are. (Note: If you are a hater, you are not allowed to take any of these quizzes. Haters don’t read Buzzfeed. Haters read Poynter.) Enjoy.

  • Do you fancy yourself a well-read, informed individual? Did you major in English or History? Then you should take the quiz that tells you what character from a popular 19th century novel you are.
  • Do you think you know a lot about music, but you don’t actually own any records? Then you should take the quiz that tells you what member of The Beatles you are.
  • Do you enjoy being a tourist and pretending to understand other cultures and languages without having to actually interact with anyone outside of your immediate circle of family, friends and colleagues? Then you should take the quiz that tells you what city you’re REALLY from.
  • Do you live in New York City, but you’re confused about what area of town you should actually live in because you have no sense of direction? Then you should take the quiz that tells you what neighborhood in New York City you should actually live in.
  • Are you white but you have no idea what European country your bloodline came from? Then you should take the quiz that tells you what European country your family is from.
  • Are you black, but always wondered what white character on the show Girls you are most like? There’s a quiz for that.
  • Are you unhappy at work? Then let Buzzfeed tell you what career you should have, because, you guessed it, there’s a quiz for that.
  • Do you not know what state you are currently in, or what state you belong in? Good news.

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