The Golden Globes are happening RIGHT NOW, meaning you're either really into live-tweeting on Twitter or are staying as far away from your computer as possible. (Pretty easy, really. Just go take a shower.) This page will be updated as the winners are announced. Keep checking back for the list of the 2014 Golden Globes award winners and jokes.
UPDATE: That's all, folks. All the awards are in. Breathe easy—these people did the right thing and honored 12 Years a Slave.
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture:
WINNER: Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
Sally Hawkins, Blues Jasmine
Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
June Squibb, Nebraska
Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Mini-Series, or TV Movie
WINNER: Jacqueline Bisset, Dancing on the Edge
Janet McTeer, The White Queen
Hayden Panettiere, Nashville
Monica Potter, Parenthood
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Best TV Movie or Mini-Series
WINNER: Behind the Candelabra
American Horror Story: Coven
Dancing on the Edge
Top of the Lake
The White Queen
Best Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie
WINNER: Elisabeth Moss, Top of the Lake
Helena Bonham Carter, Burton and Taylor
Rebecca Ferguson, The White Queen
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Coven
Helen Mirren, Phil Spector
Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama
WINNER: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Michael Sheen, Masters of Sex
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
James Spader, The Blacklist
Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan
Best TV Series, Drama
WINNER: Breaking Bad
House of Cards
Downton Abbey
Masters of Sex
The Good Wife
Best Original Score, Motion Picture
WINNER: Alex Ebert, All Is Lost
Alex Heffes, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Steven Price, Gravity
John Williams, The Book Thief
Hans Zimmer, 12 Years a Slave
Best Original Song, Motion Picture
WINNER: "Ordinary Love," Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
"Atlas," The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
"Let It Go," Frozen
"Please Mr. Kennedy," Inside Llewyn Davis
"Sweeter Than Fiction," One Chance
Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series, or TV Movie
WINNER: Jon Voight, Ray Donovan
Corey Stoll, House of Cards
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Rob Lowe, Behind the Candelabra
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Amy Adams, American Hustle
Julie Delpy, Before Midnight
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County
Greta Gerwig, Frances Ha
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Enough Said
Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama
WINNER: Robin Wright, House of Cards
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black
Taylor Schilling, Orange Is the New Black
Kerry Washington, Scandal
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
WINNER: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Daniel Bruhl, Rush
Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Best Screenplay, Motion Picture
WINNER: Spike Jonze, Her
John Ridley, 12 Years a Slave
Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell, American Hustle
Bob Nelson, Nebraska
Jeff Pope and Steve Coogan, Philomena
Best Actor in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Michael J. Fox, The Michael J. Fox Show
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Best Foreign Film
WINNER: The Great Beauty
Blue Is the Warmest Color
The Hunt
The Past
The Wind Rises
Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie
WINNER: Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
Idris Elba, Luther
Matt Damon, Behind the Candelabra
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Dancing on the Edge
Al Pacino, Phil Spector
Best Animated Feature Film
WINNER: Frozen
Despicable Me 2
The Croods
Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Lena Dunham, Girls
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Best Director, Motion Picture
WINNER: Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
Paul Greengrass, Captain Phillips
Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave
Alexander Payne, Nebraska
David O. Russell, American Hustle
Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical
WINNER: Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Girls
Parks and Recreation
The Big Bang Theory
Modern Family
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
Christian Bale, American Hustle
Oscar Isaac, Inside Llewyn Davis
Joaquin Phoenix, Her
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
WINNER: American Hustle
Her
Inside Llewyn Davis
Nebraska
The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
WINNER: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock, Gravity
Judi Dench, Philomena
Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks
Kate Winslet, Labor Day
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
WINNER: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
Idris Elba, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Tom Hanks, Captain Phillips
Robert Redford, All Is Lost
Best Motion Picture, Drama
WINNER: 12 Years a Slave
Captain Phillips
Gravity
Philomena
Rush
