Once described as the vast and howling emptiness where a soul once resided, Barbie Dream House Party is a game in name alone.

The entire affair seems more akin to a consumer conditioning simulator that aims to program women into talking with a raised intonation that always sounds like they're asking a question. Shoes, shopping, baking, and some of the most haunting eyes ever seen in a video game are all that wait for those about to play this game. The whole thing reinforces stereotypes that were considered archaic in the 70s and gives them a new graphics engine. If you buy this game for your children, you're not just a bad parent, you're a terrible human.