Disgraced Toronto mayor Rob Ford caused quite the stir last month when he denied performing oral sex on a female staffer in the most Rob Ford-ian (coining this phrase now) way possible: He said he had "more than enough to eat at home." He was referring to his wife.

Initial response: YIKES. NO. REALLY? MAKE IT STOP. Can we all collectively sue for the mental distress that quote caused us? Secondary response: Ford can't be the first celebrity to talk so candidly about oral sex. And, go figure, he's not—in fact, a lot of other well-known figures in politics and entertainment have spoken about it, going as far back as J. Edgar Hoover.

So, in honor of Ford's flub (and the terrifying mental images it created), here's a list of every single other celebrity quote about oral sex that we could find. Let's start with the oldest...

Here's J. Edgar Hoover, in the 1950s:

"I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce." [via]

 

Ever wanted to know how Michael Douglas got cancer?:

"Without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus." [via]

 

Lenny Clarke's words of wisdom:

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." [via]

 

Jenny Eclair 

"I don’t give blow jobs, because I find it really off-putting seeing a grown man look so pathetically grateful." [via]

 

Allen Ginsberg:

"Just because I like to suck cock doesn't make me any less American than Jesse Helms."[via]

 

Justin Long, Mac guy and freak:

"There were parts about certain...well, acts that men supposedly don't like performing on women that I have very strong feelings against. I would very much argue the opposite." [via]

 

Maureen Lipman doesn't like the scenery:

"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view." [via]

 

Rob Ford, being Rob Ford:

"It says I wanted to eat her pussy and I have never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married and I’ve got more than enough to eat at home." [via] 

 

Adam Lambert kissed a girl and didn't like it at all:

"It was a little gross because I don’t think she was as clean as she could’ve been. It wasn’t the act of it that really turned me off. I don’t really remember. I was 18 and I was drunk." [via]

 

Lisa Vanderpump with a weird fact about the UK:

"We don’t do that in England." [via]

 

Cynthia Heimel with some exercise tips:

"Oral sex is a great way to tone up your cheekbones." [via]

 

Sharon Stone:

"Young people talk to me about what to do if they're being pressed for sex? I tell them: oral sex is a hundred times safer than vaginal or anal sex... If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job. I'm not embarrassed to tell them." [via]

 

Sharon Osbourne:

"I want a title. They call it a Dame... You just have to suck his dickk… He [Ozzy] can fuckk Camilla while I’m with Charles." [via]

 

Evan Rachel Wood, dissing the MPAA :

"The scene [in Charlie Countryman] where the two main characters make 'love' was altered because someone felt that seeing a man give a woman oral sex made people 'uncomfortable' but the scenes in which people are murdered by having their heads blown off remained intact and unaltered. This is a symptom of a society that wants to shame women and put them down for enjoying sex, especially when (gasp) the man isn't getting off as well!" [ via]

 

...and her husband, Jamie Bell, with some life advice:

"Skill? You know what I'm going to say. A man should have a good understanding of a vagina. He should be good at oral sex. On a woman. Making fires and pleasing a woman. In the vaginal area." [via]

 

Gabrielle Union is easy to shop for:

"If it’s a choice between a man who gives flowers and a man who enjoys giving oral, most women would take the oral. And it’s free. Oral sex is recession-proof." [via]

 

Paris Hilton...assuming that no one has seen her sex tape:

"I never do that. My mom always taught me, 'Only ugly girls need to go down on their knees and do things like that.'" [via]

 

...and, last but not least, Katee Sackhoff with the best story about continuing education:

"When I was really young, I didn’t know what a blow job was and I assumed that it meant you blow on it. And I remember one time this older guy that I knew was trying to give me tips, he’s a gay guy and one of my really good friends, and he goes: 'Make sure you always remember that the balls are not there for decoration.' And I was like, 'Well, what do you do with them? Do you box them?'" [via]

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