Urban Merit Badges for the Modern Male

Forget tying knots and pitching tents: here are the merit badges every young man needs to earn if they hope to make it in the big city.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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When you see the Boy Scouts in the news these days, it's rarely for positive reasons. Culture has left behind the antiquated views of the Scouts and their merit badges seem a little out of date as well. As Americans rush to urban centers for work and easy living in newly gentrified neighborhoods, badges like Farm Mechanics and Tracking seem about as useless as your undergraduate diploma. Now that you’ve moved to the big city, many of the skills you learned in Boy Scouts no longer have a practical application. It is time for you, the inteprid twenty-something urban pioneer, to have merit badges of your own. You need badges that will teach you the essential skills needed to get by in a modern metropolis. You need to learn how to survive in any urban environment, from the warehouse party to the back of a cab to IKEA. You need these Merit Badges for the Urban Male.

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Taxicab Sexuality

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Gym Membership Cancellation

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Bodega Survival

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Coffee Shop Camping

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Greenwashing

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IKEA Navigation

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Citibike Emergency Preparedness

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Public Bathroom Survival

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GIF Making

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Drunk Philosophy

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Warehouse Pary Orienteering

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Hookup Lore

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Slumlord Management

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