Riding the LIRR won't expose you to same atrocities as the New York City subway, but it will bring you pretty close. For example, this video filmed on the LIRR's Ronkonkoma branch, shows a woman going toe-to-toe with challengers in an argument that quickly devolves into jokes about penis size. The root of the argument remains unclear, but she drops gems like "I could probably solve your problem because I have a small pussy to fit your small penis" with acid-tongued ease.
A voice of reason calms everyone by pointing out the children aboard the train who don't need to be exposed to such a vulgar discussion about anatomy. Nobody wins when adults behave like high schoolers.