The only reason your company party has an 89-percent attendance rate is because everyone in the office has a proposition wager on who will fly off the rails like a coked-up Real Housewife of Orange County. In that same keynote, no self-respecting career woman is going to let you sully her Ann Taylor LOFT sheer sleeve dress if you smell like Seagram's VO and have the hiccups. Keep it together, Sloshed Hartnett.