Just as it does during operational hours, the office party requires an artificial semblance of professionalism (at least for the first two hours and a half hours).  You cannot walk into the P.F. Chang’s banquet room and recklessly scheme on coworkers like a college sophomore on Xanax. From the moment the party starts, everyone is looking for that guy.

Who’s that guy?

It’s the dude who’s a set of defined abs away from being the first bro kicked out of The Bachelorette mansion. But, his most distinguishable quality is a crippling desire to go #StarbucksDrakeHands on women after a few spiked eggnogs. Anyway, don’t be that guy.