Media Take Out: The Most Ratchet Headlines of October

All the news that's kinda, sorta fit to print.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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The blog-style gossip site Media Take Out, which launched in 2006, is notoriously known for inciting celebrity drama. And as the most visited urban website in the world, readers constantly demand slanderous dirt (read: shade) on A-listers. The most fascinating part about the online gabfest, however, is its unique approach to crafting headlines. Never before has a web entity appropriated such a distinct (read: ratchet) style and voice. Here, we recap the best headlines of October.

RELATED: Media Take Out Keeps It Real: Reimagining World Events as Covered by MTO

Rihanna Is Pracically NEKKID In Her New Video . . . She's Wearing A Pair Of C**CHIE CUTTING Jean Shorts . . . It's UP HER BUTT In The Back . .. And IN HER UTERUS In The Front!!!

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Khloe Kardashian Must Be GEARING UP TO DIVORCE LAMAR . . . Cause She Just Got A FRESH RE-UP OF AZZ SHOTS . . . And Her New Butt Is BIGGER THAN KIM'S!!!

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AWWWW SH*T . . . It Looks Like R&B Singer Kelis May Have Gotten A NEW NOSE JOB . . . Her New Nose Is TURNED UP . . . And We Mean That LITERALLY!!!

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Rihanna Shows Off Her POLE DANCING SKILLS . . . And She Looks Real PITIFUL UP THERE . . . Somebody Get Her Some LESSONS!!

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One Day After FINDNG OUT HIS GIRLFRIEND Cheated On Him . . . Floyd Did What ANY MAN WOULD DO . . . Went To The Strip Club And Blew A HOUSE MORTGAGE ON SKRIPPERS!!

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OH MY!!! Dancing With The Stars' CHRISTINA MILIAN Gets Drunk . . . And TURN'T UP . . . So She Lifts Up Her Skirt And SHOWS HER STUFF!!

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NEKKID PHOTOS Of Miley Cyrus Leak On The WEB . . . But Unless You Are A CATHOLIC PRIEST . . . Her LITTLE BOY BODY Ain't Gonna Do NOTHING FOR YOU!!!

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Actress Jennifer Hudson NEEDS TO STOP IT . . . The Girl Is WAY TO RICH . . . To Be Walking Down The Street With WIG GLUE CAKED ONTO HER FOREHEAD!!!

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Actress TIA MOWRY Is Spotted Leaving The Gym WITHOUT MAKEUP . . . And UMMM . . . HMMM . . . WELL . . .If She Got Some PROACTIV AND SOME BOOTY SHOTS . . . She's Be GOOD!!

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People Are GOING CRAZY Over Child Star MILEY CYRUS . . . But Have Y'all Seen What Child Star HILLARY DUFF Looks Like . .. Now THAT'S A THICK WHITE GIRL!!!

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Drake's EX-GF Maliah Releases Some NEW LINGERIE PICS . . . And She's Looking Like She Got That MILLION DOLLAR . . . MMM . . . MMM . . . MMMM!!!

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NOW Y'ALL KNOW We're Not One To Start NO RUMORS . . . But Drake Is Talking About His 'FOOTBALL FRIEND' . . . As If Them Two Are F*CKING!!!

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Rihanna Reportedly 'FIRED' Her Best Friend . . . And Shipped Her BACK TO BARBADOS!!!

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Chris Brown Is Dating A New Chick . . . And She's The FREAKIEST PORNO STAR IN THE GAME!!!

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When Keeping IT REAL . .. Goes WRONG!!! Rapper Plies Reportedly FRACTURED HIS NECK . . . His Gold Chain Was TOO HEAVY . . . It Weighed More Than 15 POUNDS!!!!

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Jada Pinkett Must Be Going Through Some Sort Of MID LIFE CRISIS . . . Cause Ain't NO WAY A 45 Year Old Woman Should CUT HER HAIR LIKE THIS!!!

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Whoever Is MANAGING BEYONCE'S CAREER . . . Is Really A DUMMY . . . Look At The FOOLISHNESS THEY GOT HER DOING!!!

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YIKES!!! Actress Gabby 'PRECIOUS' Sidibe Wears Some FLIP FLOPS . . . And Her Feet Are SO PLUMP AND JUICY . . . The Straps Are About To EXPLODE!!!

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Kelly Rowland Really Needs To TONE IT DOWN With All The Exercising . . . She Was Photo'd LEAVING THE GYM . . . And When We FIRST SAW THE PICS . . . We Thought She Was TREY SONGZ!!!

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EMBARASSING!! R&B Singer Keyshia Cole Had A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION On Stage . . . When She Was Trying To BUSS IT OPEN!!!

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MIMI From Love And Hip Hop Takes Some SEXY PICS . . . For BLACK MENS MAGAZINE . . . And She's BUSSING IT WIDE!!!

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NeNe Leakes Assaults Bravo Producer . . . And Now She's ON THE RUN!!!

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Can Someone Please Explain To Me WHAT HAPPENED TO ASHANTI'S BODY . . Didn't She USED TO HAVE HIPS AND AZZ???

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UH OH!!! Rapper Timbaland GAINED ALL THE WEIGHT BACK That He Lost . . . Now It Looks Like He's Got A PACK OF FRANKS On The Back Of His Head!!

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NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! R&B Singer Kelly Rowland OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCES . . . That She's Down With The ILLUMINATI . . . Folks Are SELLING THEIR SOULS Left And Right Y'all!!!

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THE STRUGGLE IS REAL Y'ALL . . . Look What Some Guy POSTED ON INSTAGRAM . . . It's What He's Gotta DO IN HIS HOOD . . . To Get HOT WATER OUT THE PIPE!!!

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LMAOOOOOOOO!! Drake Reportedly CANCELLED HIS VIDEO SHOOT . . . When He Was Trying To Cast VIDEO GIRLS . . . And LOOK WHO SHOWED UP!!!

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WOOOOOOOW!! There's A New Trend HITTING THESE STREETS . . . Girls Are Now PROUDLY PROCLAIMING . . . That They Are SIDE CHICKS ON INSTAGRAM!!!

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Superhead Dome CHANGED UP HER WAYS . . . She's Now A COUGAR . . . And The Latest D*CK She's Getting . . . AIN'T EVEN A CELEBRITY!!!

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WHAT THE F*CK!!! Kanye Is SICK . . . He's Selling RACIST K-K-K Merchandise . . . At His Concert!!

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Justin Bieber Goes To A BLACK SKRIP CLUB . . . And Goes H.A.M. . . . Dropping $10K . . . And MOLESTING ONE GIRLS BOOTY With His Hands!!!

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Rapper Tyga's BABYS MOTHER Blac Cyna's BUTT IMPLANTS ARE SO BIG . . . That You Can See Them FROM THE FRONT When She's Walking!!!

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NOOOOO . . . HE DIDN'T . . . He COULDN'T HAVE . . . ???? Reports Say That Kris Jenner Now MANAGES KANYE WEST!!!

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WHOOPS!! Actress Salma Hayak Had A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION . . . With Wind LIFTED HER SKIRT . . . And EXPOSED HER BUBBLE!!!

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LaLa Anthony Steps Out On Teh RED CARPET With Jamie Foxx . . . Jamie Goes In For The HUG . . . And You Can Tell He Wanted To PALM THE BUTTOCKS!!

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WHAT THE F*CK??????? Justin Bieber Is CAUGHT IN BED . . . With Two Of His MALE COMPANIONS!!

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BREAKING NEWS: Chris Brown Is ARRESTED . . . Charged With ASSAULT . . . He's Getting Time Y'all!

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MTO SUPER ATLANTA HOUSEWIVES EXCLUSIVE: Kandi's Husband . . . Was Allegedly Sleeping With Kandi's BEST FRIEND SINCE CHILDHOOD!!!

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ON BLASSSSSSTTTT!!! Did Y'all Hear That Ciara And Future Got Engaged . . . So Why Is Her On Twitter Giving HEAUX HIS NUMBER??????

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We Now Know WHY Love And Hip Hop Star Peter Gunz Married His SIDE CHICK . . . And It's SCANDALOUS!!

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