Edwin Charles Tobergta, infamous in Hamilton, Ohio for having sex with a pool raft on five separate occasions, has a history of fucking inantimate objects. Earlier this week, Tobergta was sentenced to 11 months in prison for his most recent gross public display, but the trial revealed that he also had sex with a pumpkin that was part of a Halloween display back in 2002. He's over a decade deep in filthy behavior.
A repulsed judge called Tobergta's actions "lewd," something that Tobergta wants to change. "I'm ready to get my life together and quit all this nonsense," he told the court after apologizing for his actions. He'll have nearly a year to get his shit together and finally grasp that nobody—especially not a group of children—needs to see him have sex with anything in public.