10 LOL Moments From Black Twitter This Week

Image via Complex Original

After tweeting this Charlie Brown image, a number of users quickly noticed that all of the little white kids sat on one side of the table—in real chairs—while the one black kid invited sat all by his lonesome...in a lawn chair. So true to form, people cracked jokes about Charlie Brown's Separate But Equal-themed Thanksgiving dinner. #FactsOnly

The Internet went nuts over a video of a young lady by the name of Sharkeisha sucker punching another girl in what seemed like a dispute over a man. She has since gone on to become the latest Antoine Dodson or Sweet Brown (take your pick), but as you can see, she also caught the attention of the po-po. There's this little thing called assault, and should you commit such a crime, you might not want to upload the evidence of the act for the entire world to see. The victim's mother has filed a police report with the Harris County Sheriff's Office. I'm already laughing at her live tweeting her probation meetings.

On this week's edition of Love & Hip Hop, Saigon set off Olivia Benson's tip line when he said "I'm at Chuck-E-Cheese like everyday" and used his observations of other little boys there to say that his own son (who he only confirmed was his by way of a paternity test a week prior) has development issues. Naturally, everyone wondered, "But why are you at Chuck-E-Cheese" all the time. Well, one person had an answer.

In a very important PSA, Twitter user @theREALJihan makes one thing clear: Rihanna can get away with going outside with a non-hairstyle hairstyle, but you probably can't. Also, do not, as New York magazine's The Cut wondered, make the doobie the "beauty equivalent of the twerk." Keep your hair done. Meanwhile, I look forward to Rihanna showing up to the Grammys with half her braids undone.

Unsung is a TV One documentary-style show that highlights black artists who either should've been a bigger deal than they were, or were acually a big deal then for some reason, fell off the face of the Earth. It brings generations together—particularly when it comes to pickng who's next. @JamilahLemieux's brother is right. Poor Ciara. I hope you're investing your money.

Stop sending 19 emails about a sale that's only really about two or three dollars in an actual discount, Apple.

Chitlins, or chitterlings if you're fancy, are the small intestines of a pig that are boiled or stewed for several hours and then eaten with ample amounts of hot sauce (by man, anyway). They stank like Hell before they're cleaned, and depending on who you ask, they may or may not be worth the wait. As one country relative of mine once said, "They make your balls hang." I cannot confirm as I have refused to eat them my entire life. A lot of black critics of chitlins point out "we's free na" so we don't have to eat pig intestines anymore. However, there are plenty of black folks who give no damns about such complaints and proudly eat them anyway. Enter this hashtag, which is hilarious because it seems to bother some people. All praises to @metroadlib for this meme. Next year, stand up for pig's feet and hog head cheese.

Every year people post their burnt, undercooked, salmonella-flavored dishes on Twitter and every year they are roasted. There's a special kind of commentary from Black Twitter, though. Case in point. Honorable mention to Twitter user and one of my favorites, @CorporateBarbie, who described this struggle bowl of stew as "Barnacles and lizard feet in ass broth. I won't." Nor should you, CB.

Jennifer Lopez did a great job at the American Music Awards, but her performance was a tribute to Celia Cruz, an Afro-Cuban singer with a powerful voice. Jennifer Lopez has a lot of power in her video, but not so much in her vocal chords. They could've booked someone with a bit more melanin and muscle in their throats. Maybe J.Lo could've danced around her? And don't call it hating. Y'all wouldn't book Ashanti to do anything for Patti LaBelle but check her coat. Just saying.

In response to Kanye West's ridiculous declaration of being "The 2Pac of Product Design," yours truly along with @JamilahLemieux created the hashtag #KanyeJobTitles. For the record, I am the Honorable Elijah Muhammad of Essays, the John the Baptist of Blogging, the Pimp C of Procrastination, and the Johnny Gill of Keeping Secrets.

P.S. YOU DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS, SWAY!