In Aziz Ansari's new Netflix streaming comedy special, Buried Alive, the stand-up comedian and star of NBC's Parks and Recreation challenges the notion that white is right, or even aight. At least when it comes to babies.
In a bit about his fear of parenting, Ansari, who comes from an Indian Tamil Muslim family and describes himself as "the cutest kid of all time" and "the most adorable little brown puppy you can imagine" personified, verbally assaults pale faced bundles of joy.
"If someone came up to me with a baby like, 'Hey, you've gotta look out for this baby,' I'd be like, 'Sorry, I've got my own things going on right now. I don't have time to look out for this little brown baby.' In this scenario I'm assuming it's a little Indian baby. If it was a white baby I'd be like, 'Get that thing away from me! It's disgusting!' White babies are gross, man! I'm sorry! They're like regular babies that aren't ripe yet."
While sure to draw the ire of sensitive white folks, the joke is, in our estimation, hilarious. It works because it's so ridiculous—everybody knows all babies are ugly. Yes, even yours. Especially yours.
In addition to this bit of reverse-baby-racism genius, be sure to check Ansari's special for his take on those spoiled kids on MTV's My Super Sweet 16 compared to the hopeless ones on MTV's 16 and Pregnant ("Ugh, could someone impregnate this girl and ruin her life please?"), why he wasn't molested as a child ("My theory is that I was so cute as a kid that it intimidated child molesters. Like, for child molesters, I was kind of like the hot girl at the bar."), and more. Buried Alive is far more pleasing than looking at unripened white babies.