10 Apps We Wish Existed

Image via Complex Original

What It Does: Determines whether or not an event will suck.

We have apps to tell us how good the food is, how exclusive the crowd is, and how cheap the drinks are. We don't have an app to answer the simple question: will it suck? Whether you are going to your boy's birthday party or your cousin's experimental theatre project, all you want to know is if it is going to be shitty. Will It Suck? asks you a series of carefully crafted questions to let you know if something is going to be terrible in advance. Once the app has gathered sufficient information, it will give you the hard truth. From your uncle's third wedding to your college chess club reunion, Will It Suck? has the answer to your social life's burning question. You may not want to use Will It Suck? if you have to go to the event regardless of the answer, as it is only going to depress you even more.

What It Does: Makes sure your brilliant idea is actually a brilliant idea.

We've all been woken up in the middle of the night with what we think is a genius idea. Inspiration for a brilliant business, a revolutionay invention, or a savvy app can strike at any time.  Most of the time, once we've slept on it, we realize just how dumb our "brilliant idea" actually is. Enter your idea into Eureka! and the app will tell you if your genius scheme is actually incredibly stupid before you find yourself investing time and energy into a fool's errand. Before you go investing your life's savings to start a business making top hats for babies or steak knives for fruit, run your game changing idea past Euraka! first to make sure it's actually worth the napkin it was hastily scribbled on.

What It Does: Tells you how to dress for every occasion.

Everyone has been overdressed for a job interview or underdressed for a party at some point. We've all felt the stinging embarassment of showing up in a polo shirt when everybody in the spot is suited up to the nines. Casual Business is basically Yelp! for your dress code. Users tip each other off on what is really appropriate attire. Whenever you are heading to a club, an office, or any other fashion conscious event, Casual Business can tell you how to dress for success. You still probably won't dress well, but at least you'll dress appropriately.

What It Does: Answers your parents' tech questions so you don't have to.

Every adult in this country under the age of forty is the unpaid personal tech consultant for someone over the age of forty. Though we don't mind helping out our parents when they can't work their newfangled devices, we could use a break. ParenTech has developed a database of common parental tech problems such as, "the shiny thing won't work" and "Internet's being weird;" the app utilizes insightful follow-up questions to help your 'rents arrive at a solution to any tech problem, no matter how vaguely described. Of course, this all hinges on them being able to turn on their phone and open the app, so you may have to help them get that far.

What It Does: Clues you in on pop culture references you don't understand.

Nobody likes to be the guy that doesn't get a pop culture reference. Everyone else is laughing or nodding knowingly while you are left staring blankly at the wall wishing you had HBO. With iGetIt, you'll never be left out in the cultural darkness ever again. Open up iGetIt whenever you arrive at the bar or at a party. IGetIt's voice recognition software will process the reference and scour its database to figure out exactly what is being talked about. Discretely take a peek at your phone, and suddenly you're one of the cool kids. Get clued in on everything from Dostoyevsky references to Doctor Who quotes with iGetIt.

What It Does: Estimates how many single, attractive females will be in a given place at a certain time.

Before every wedding, party, or trip to Whole Foods, one of the things at the front of your mind is whether or not you are going to be seeing any single, attractive females. Rather than taking a wild guess, you can just ask Heat Index. Enter the host of an event, the neighborhood in which it is taking place, plus any other pertinent details, and Heat Index will do the rest. Heat Index analyzes the social network of the event's hosts and confirmed guests, factors in the proximity of attractive women, and gives you a sense of how many hot, single ladies will be in the spot. As to whether they'll be into you or not? Your phone can't do everything for you, dawg.

What It Does: Informs you of a person's political leanings before you speak to them.

In modern society, we often end up with our foot firmly in our mouth. Even though we've been told time and again that "to assume makes an ass out of you and me," we continue to make asses of ourselves at pretty much every opportunity. Politislant is going to help you avoid one of life's most well known ass-making situations. Before a date, a job interview, or a party, you can use Politislant to research a person's political affiliation. The app doesn't just look at their Facebook profile, Politislant scours the Internet for a nuanced view of a person's politics. Look for updates that will keep you posted on religious affiliations, cultural background, and favorite sports teams in the near future. When Poltislant is fully updated, you'll never offend anyone again ... unless it's by choice.

What It Does: Feeds you the next topic of conversation on a date.

Even the best dates have those awkward pauses. You get on a hot topic like your favorite television shows, news of the day, or her ex-boyfriend, and then, all of a sudden, the discussion runs cold. With What Now? you'll never have to worry about those awkward pauses ever again. Simply type in what you've discussed so far and/or what you know about your date, and What Now? will spit back topics, phrases, and anecdotes to keep the conversation fresh. What Now? will also let you know, after ten long, bitter years of marriage, when the two of you really have nothing left to talk about.

What It Does: Helps you avoid making bad decisions while drunk.

When you drink, you think you have good ideas. Rarely are those ideas actually good. Finally, there is an app that can help you avoid making terrible decisions when you are terribly wasted. There are two ways to use Decidr. The first is to ask the app questions. For example, you could ask, "Should I text my ex-girlfriend Christine?" The answer of course, is "No." Decidr's advanced algorithm also allows you to ask the app for drunk advice in this form: I've had x drinks. Should I do y? A practical example of this form would be, "I've had six shots of whiskey. Should I operate that fork lift?" As long as you aren't so drunk that you can't operate your phone, Decidr might just save your life, and it will certainly help save what's left of your integrity.

What It Does: Tells you when someone is bullsh*ting you.

What if an app could tell you if people are full of it in real time? Bullsh*t is an instant search engine for truth seekers. As soon as someone lies to your face, you know it. We aren't just talking about claims like "St. Petersburg is the capital of Russia" or "This breakfast cereal is good for you." Statements like "I totally hooked up with Victoria last night." and "I find my job super fulfilling." can be immediately truth tested with Bullsh*t. Be warned: sometimes learning the real truth will hurt, but learning even the hardest truths is preferable to living a lie.