If you haven't heard the news (and so you should probably check the Wi-Fi in your rock), here's what you've missed: 50 Shades of Grey producers have finally found their new Christian Grey after Sons of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam escaped dropped out of the role due to "scheduling conflicts." The new lucky fella? Irish actor Jamie Dornan. You have probably never heard of him.
Seeing as we're all going to be seeing a lot more of this guy soon—literally seeing a lot more of him, unless these producers turn out to be gutless prudes—now's a good time to find out who he is. It wouldn't be gentlemanly to look up his bio after already seeing him naked.
Alright, so, Jamie Dornan. He's 31 years old and hails from a town in Northern Ireland called Holywood. This is what he looks like when's being sexy but also coy and a little goofy #COOLGUYFACE:
He began his career after dropping out of Teesside University in Middlesbrough, UK, and moved to London to pursue acting. In the early '00s he began modeling, and appeared in some major print ads for fashion houses like Armani, Christian Dior, and Calvin Klein.
It was also around this time that he met actress Keira Knightley, who was beginning to have a major career of her own with the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. The two dated between 2003 and 2005, during which time she introduced him to her agent so he could begin doing more with his life than just being really, really, ridiculously good looking.
After the two split up, Dornan got his first film role: as Marie Antoinette's lover, Axel von Fersen, in Sofia Coppola's 2006 film, Marie Antoinette. It was a minor role, but in the few scenes he was in, he got to ride on a horse and have sex with Kirsten Dunst—so, you know, he was pretty much already prepared for 50 Shades at this point.
After that, he appeared in a few other little-known films and played in a band called Sons of Jim (who ultimately disbanded—sad) before landing a important—but small—role in ABC's Once Upon a Time as the ill-fated Sheriff Graham Humbert. It was his biggest role to date, and likely how most American audiences recognize him.
It wasn't until his role in BBC Two's excellent series The Fall, in which he starred alongside Gillian Anderson, that he really gained recognition for his talents—and became too good for a sure-to-be lackluster film like 50 Shades.
According to his IMDb profile, he's also a huge fan of Manchester United, which I can respect.
More prep for Christian Grey: Apparently, during his single days, he had mad game. In addition to Knightley, he's reported to have dated Lindsay Lohan, Sienna Miller, and Kate Moss before ultimately settling down with English actress Amelia Warner.
Last but not least, it seems that acting runs in his family. His great aunt is legendary actress and Oscar-winner Greer Garson. This makes the fact that he took a role in a film like 50 Shades all the more disappointing—he has talent!—but, oh well. We can all just quietly judge him from the corner.
And that's it: Everything you need to know about Jamie Dornan pre-50 Shades. This is, of course, just the beginning—you're going to be hearing a lot more of this guy's name soon. Poor guy. He probably should have consulted Robert Pattinson before getting involved with this movie...