Who run it?
Who run it? Who run it? Based on Olivia Pope’s first soliloquy of the night, Rowan Pope is the last dragon who possesses the power of the glow. She says as much in the first scene of "Say Hello to My Little Friend," the fourth episode of season three of Scandal, as she instructs Jake Ballard to get out of her house for his safety and her mental stability.
That and to stop being a killjoy.
Fighting unhealthy levels of emotional attachment was all the rage last night, because right after we see Jake make his exit, we're treated to the sight of David Rosen and Abby on a date. Abby continues to be a commitment phobe and David ultimately gets sick of it, telling her that if she isn't going to make a choice, he'll make it for her. So he dismisses her, only to fall back into her redhead of madness after she sexts him. Don’t you dare judge for that—we’ve all fallen for that okie doke at one time or another.
And in Abby’s case, it’s probably best to speak as little as possible.
Then there's Quinn, who feigns concern over Huck’s supposed odd behavior. Huck is an oddball all the time, though, and after Quinn followed him to an AA meeting and figured out his real addiction—KILL! KILL! KILL!—her little inquisitive mind starts to pester the hell out of him for details. No fool, Huck knows that Quinn isn't posing as Barbara Walters in an effort to channel her inner Dr. Drew. No, Quinn wants to get her Dexter Morgan on and Huck is trying to spare her that ugly reality by pleading with her to press pause on such dark curiosity.
Quinn represents a nagging theme among most of the characters of the show: not knowing when to leave well enough alone.
Speaking of, Olivia Pope & Associates’ new client, Senator Richard Meyers, is a philandering husband way too into sending explicit photos of himself to several different women and coupling it with dirty talk. To the confusion of many, his wife Shelly has stayed by his side, swearing that he's a changed man. Not long after comes proof that he’s still out there sending dick pics via SMS. If this sounds familiar, then you’ve heard of Carlos Danger. Law & Order: SVU also took on Weiner’s sexting scandal this week, so for Huma Abedin-Weiner’s sake, maybe it’s time to drop that zero and get with a hero (Hillary Clinton 2016).
Nevertheless, this Weiner remix is an alleged murderer. His wife proves to be his only way out of prison, though while you might expect her to turn on him in the wake of more evidence of his cheating ways, Shelly provides Richard with an alibi. The twist turns out to be that Shelly was out “shopping” the night Richard claims to be at home. Given Shelly being a partner at a law firm, you can imagine she understands the severity of committing perjury. But a-ha: She’s the real killer—and she got away with it, thanks to there not being a bunch of meddling kids around.
OK, that might’ve been the focal point of last night’s episode, but I wasn’t as invested, so let’s get to the people I care about.
Hello, Lisa Kudrow. It is so wonderful to see you back on my TV on Thursday nights. I will never forgive you people for making Jennifer Aniston the big movie star and Kudrow the person with great ideas that don’t catch on until it’s too late (a.k.a. HBO’s The Comeback). Kudrow will be playing the recurring role of Josephine Marcus, a Democratic presidential contender who is more or less a political nobody until First Lady Mellie Mel is caught dragging her over a live mic. Cyrus yells at her for “minting her ass,” though in a separate temper tantrum, President Fitz takes up for her, instructing Cyrus to calm his belligerent self the hell down.
I understand that this was a rookie mistake on Mellie’s part, but it honestly only made me more interested in what her political career would look like. She’s remarkably vicious but knows when to turn on the poise. That, and she's brilliant. She’s very, “What if Sarah Palin were as even a decimeter as smart as she thought she was?”
I’m also very curious to know what is it about Operation Remington that makes Fitz so guilty that he decided to visit Pete Foster’s funeral. But now that we know Huck is joining Jake in Operation Take Olivia’s Daddy Out, plus the revelation that Fitz is very much aware of who commander is, I imagine it won’t be much longer now. Until then, at least we got a great Nina Simone song being played out of the deal.
Lastly, sometimes I want to shake the simp out of Olivia. Liv, I understand that you love your married president boyfriend, but you can’t have him right now. Why not enjoy someone who is single, accepts you for your many, many flaws, and let’s you drink all of the wine you like. And woman, you do love your wine.
Now, Jake is a bit of a cock-blocker. I absolutely hate it when people know I’m on the phone and would rather not let the person on the call know I have company, but proceeds to open their big mouth anyway. But in this instance, he’s doing you a favor, Olivia, and he’s no bigger cock-blocker than the press pool.
Until next week, y’all.
Written by Michael Arceneaux (@youngsinick)