A Profile of the Los Santos Police Department

Image via Complex Original

 The Los Santos Police Department is far more professional than it’s GTA predecessors. Employing far more aggressive tactics and combat training pulled straight from the military. Officers will not simply follow you in a chase they will actively try to box your car in and shoot it out. Their unmarked Police Cruisers roam downtown Los Santos waiting for the misdemeanor pedestrian sidewalk murder or a taken down light pole to unleash a hail of gunfire your way.

If you’ve sent any amount of time playing GTA V you may have noticed that the LSPD isn’t just after you. Random events like traffic accidents bring out the best, err worst, with minor traffic accidents and loitering resulting in a wall of bullets and not a few beatings.

 The LSPD has had trouble in the past being able to properly staff. But since the last time we were in the San Andreas area they’ve instituted a new sharing programming. Allowing officers to share in the spoils of war, err cleaning up the streets. Narcotics and guns are evenly distributed between the ranks and bad behavior is encouraged. This new training policy resulted in a 20 percent reduction in crime as street thugs were pulled into the warm embrace of the LSPD.

While many of the identities of LSPD officers are kept secret, either because of their status on special forces teams or because of ongoing criminal litigation we do know a couple of our friendly neighborhood beat cops.

Officer Ronson is out there to protect you. But more than loving his job, Ronson loves his police issued Carbine and ability to decapitate civilians with a single headshot. Officer Ronson also enjoys long drives through the Mt. Gordo hills and taking shots at passing hikers.

Corporal Vasquez was one of the first women hired on the LSPD and after fighting her way to the top, has made it a point to show the long-standing male fraternity of the LSPD that women can be just as violent and corrupt. After years of busting big-time street thugs in unnecessary shotgun shootouts Vasquez is enjoying the spoils of her rank by patrolling the beachfront, busting hipster for campfires and minor drug violations and giving them a beating they won’t soon forget. Unfortunately for her, if you’ve played GTA Online you already know Corporal Vasquez’s fate. Her hottie handcuffing, hipster-bashing days are numbered.

Crime is happening all the time in Los Santos so it’s important for officers of the LSPD to make their presence known. That not only means raiding known drug dens and blowing up methamphetamines operations but making sure the average citizen knows what’s up.

Whether it’s slapping the crap out of looky-loos or reaffirming their dominance of the local prostitute population, the LSPD is always hard at work.

Communication and resource allocation is one of the most important jobs of the LSPD dispatchers. It’s important to determine as quickly as possible what desperate measures will need to be employed. The LSPD has beefed up it mobile security through the use of the Sheriff SUV, Police Transporter and the FIB Granger as well as mobile snipers in helicopters. If that’s not enough, our own friendly local private security force can fast-rope in to hotspots to bathe the concrete jungle in blood.

Nobody likes a loiterer. It’s bad enough the LSPD has to regularly clear the public plazas of the grotesque Mime population but to have everyday citizens standing around scoping out the 5-0 will not be tolerated.

Standing next to a LSPD officer for more than 10 seconds will result in that citizen gaining a 2-star wanted level. Bulletproof vest will be swiftly donned and the citizen will be dispatched quickly and effectively with a police issued side arm.

When crooks try to get away on the ground the LSPD has everything they need to stop them. Starting with the lowly Police Cruiser and its sneaky unmarked versions to the Interceptor with its alley lights sweeping the city for crime. If things get a little hairy watch our for the Buffalo, a turbo-tuned muscle car able to dominate the city streets and chase down just about anything in the desert expanses of Blaine County.

When it comes to tactical support the 100-percent bulletproof Transporter can swoop in with four heavily armed LSPD tactical units to the scene. When things get even more hairy the FBI Granger, the best SUV in the game, brings eight heavily armed troops at high speed and high agility to take down any scum in the Los Santos area.

When the bad guy runs the Maverick will reel him back in. With long-range night vision, infrared scopes, searchlights, loudspeaker system, side-saddled snipers and heavy machine gunners on deck you don’t want this chopper on your tail. If dropping into hostile territory the Maverick is a platform for fast-roping tactical troops that can bring the pain to ground units. While the Maverick is exceedingly versatile, research and development is still working the kinks out of a windmill avoidance system.

The Los Santos Police Department needs your help in helping defending our great city and its outlying hinterlands. Help us keep Los Santos free of criminals by getting them to join the fun of the LSPD. We’re always in need of good officers to keep up the racket and body count in the greatest city in the world. Be sure to make way for officers when you see them and whatever you do, don’t loiter.

[Via YouTube]