If you follow the previous step, you've already carved out a good amount of extra time. However, to take it to the next level, make sure to hold/force any bowel movements to around 15 or 30 minutes before you usually take your lunch break. If you suppress your sphincter enough, you'll be backlogged and it should take even longer. You've effectively extended your lunch break, and no one can say anything because you are pooping. If they do, you can sue. Them's the rules that Obama put into place. If you are a professional loafer, you've probably already trained your bowels to begin rumbling around that time. Good for you. Since you are playing this game at a higher level, can you get two—or even three—poops in? A wise man once said, "Never shit on your own time."

Bonus: If you drink enough beverage on your lunch break, you'll be able to scoot into the office and head straight to the bathroom to pee. Lunch break went from 60 minutes to 85 minutes.