We Are Men (CBS)
Number of episodes: 1
Ratings for debut: 2.0 (6.4 million viewers)
Stars: Kal Penn, Chris Smith, Jerry O'Connell, Tony Shalhoub, Rebecca Breeds
Premise: After a bad breakup, Carter (Christopher Nicholas Smith) moves into an L.A. apartment complex where he befriends three douchebags wild and crazy guys, all single and looking to mingle. And if he can mingle enough, Carter's funk will be lifted and he will be whole again!
Prognosis: Alternate titles for We Are Men: We Are Men, and So We Will Make Bad Jokes About Women and Our Desire to Hump Them; We Are Men, and If You Mistake Us For the Kind of Guys Who Might Roofie Someone, It Was All in the Name of a Good Chuckle; We Are Men, But We Never Said Anything About Being Funny.
The latest CBS show to traffic in jokes about how men are brainless humping machines and women are, well, whatever who cares about women, We Are Men will not make it to a second season, mark these words. If it does, that means the world wants to see Jerry O'Connell reprising his role from Piranha 3D; that means that the world thinks jokes from Tony Shalhoub's character about Asian women are anything other than deeply creepy; that means that the world isn't a place worth saving. Don't help these men. Instead, vanquish these men. —Ross Scarano