I used to be the type of person who, when he saw an emoji in a text convo, would say, "Have I died and gone back to seventh grade? If so, what's the one that means, 'Do you like me? Yes? No? Circle one?'" After a while, I discovered the original incarnation of BBM and realized I'm far too young to be so "Get off my lawn." I use emojis regularly now, and with many people. And over time, I've come to form thoughts on what select emojis say about the other person. Like mere minutes ago. Don't worry, don't worry: I got this. Here's a breakdown of what your emojis say about you. If you're offended, I'll be sure to look on Twitter via a web browser. That way, I won't be able to clock your shade. Enjoy. [Insert bastard grinning emoji here.]

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