Worse than Razorblades: The Crappiest Things People Hand Out on Halloween

Image via Complex Original

Keep your Cayenne-tinged chocolate, foodie, and give us the Hershey's before someone gets hurt.

We came for a cavity, not a car wash certificate.

All candy not laced with THC is a wasted opportunity, in our humble opinions.

We're really glad you've been spending time on Pinterest and all, lady, but do you think my mom really going to let me eat your (possibly arsenic-laced) cookies?

You can keep your struggle candy, Scrooge.

On the basis of their lack of sugar alone.

Fiber ruins all the fun.

Chalk > necco waffers. Don't insult us by putting these in our pillowcase.

After all of these years, we're still unsure if these are actually edible. And we aren't about to find out today.

Even the gluten-free folks are huffing Doritos today.

We're already well aquainted with the devil's scriptures, thankyouverymuch.

It's too late for us. But on the upside, these taste better than candy corn.

The better to do nothing with, you douchewad.

We know you took those out of your dusty candy dish, grandma.

Fuck off with that pear and give us something that will rot a hole in our molars.

Now our candy corn tastes like copper, you asshole.

We're looking for candy, not baking bread, Betty Crocker.

Second in crappiness (puns abound!) only to dehydrated prunes.

Is this your way of saying we're going to hell? We would have preferred a strongly-worded letter.

Speaking of strongly worded letters, this woman plans to give obese trick to treaters "get skinny soon" letters instead of candy. If that's not pure evil, we don't know what is.