Movie: Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Who does the sonning? Gny. Sgt. Hartman (R. Lee Ermey)
Who gets sonned? Everyone
Context: A good block of Full Metal Jacket takes place in Vietnam. A troop of young soldiers die, and the anguish detailed on their faces is raw. So don't mind if we back to funny-terrifying scenes with Gny. Sgt. Hartman. If the Academy awarded a Ripping a New Asshole award, Ermey would win by a landslide. He'd be the only nominee. All of the time. The quotables he serves on the hairless recruits are simultaenously surgical and hilarious. "I didn't know they stacked shit that high." "You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece." "Now lean forward and choke yourself." "You better shape up and start shitting me Tiffany cuff links."

The lines go on and on; his scenes are legitimately funnier than most 90-minute comedies. But they're also terrifying, because he's breaking down real human beings, kids who are going to go die for their country. —Frantz Rocher