The Best Places to Meet Girls on Campus

Image via Complex Original

Scoring a bartending job while in school is the college-aged equivalent of walking a Beagle puppy on the beach; it doesn't guarantee attention from women, but—cot damn—it'll certainly helps your odds. Outside of campus, you're just another minimum wage employee that has to scrub toilets and clear tapeworms out of keg lines after closing. But on campus, you hold dominion over the wraparound line outside of the bar, plus you can score a free round of lemon drops, and that makes you a king.

While in college, you have to do something to offset your frozen pizza and 40-ounce Mickey's lifestyle. So, you might as well take advantage of your school's gym, and the group fitness classes in particular. CrossFit fosters a certain type of sanctimonious comradery that makes meeting girls easy. The workouts typically involve groups, competition, and an invitation to "Paleo brunch" afterwards.

But WODs and self-righteous indignation towards mass-produced foods aren't for everyone, so, thankfully, there's always yoga. The class is going to be 90-percent women, most of whom will be clad in form-fitting pants and Lululemon sports bras. Like, it should be illegal to let guys join these classes. Also, the eat-pray-love vibes get turned up to 11 after an hour of unifying body and mind. When you hear the final "Namaste," ask someone in class if they want to grab a responsibly grown coffee or organic vegetable smoothie. We can't guarantee your success, but this is about as easy as it gets.

Many would argue that it's foolish to take a class for the sole purpose of meeting women. To which we'd respond, "STFU." Do whatever you can to meet girls when you're a squirrely 18-to-22-year-old. Your most valuable possession is an X-Box and you eat cereal three meals a day, so you'll need every edge you can get. Entry-level psychology classes and communications lectures are a great option because they're crawling with girls, and—as an added bonus—the easiest B+ on campus. We're not saying that you'll meet your soul mate in a study group, but your odds are a lot better here than at a LAN party of computer science geeks.

This one is almost unfair. If you can't get to know girls whilst playing on the same basketball team, then you'd have trouble meeting girls in the floor seats of a Taylor Swift concert, too. Games are typically paired with drinks afterwards, so pack your schedule with as many indoor soccer and flag football games as you can physically handle. Just don't lose your shit on a referee after a blown call. A little competitive edge is fine, but acting like an enraged Lou Piniella on the slow-pitch softball field is a bad look.

See this picture? That's from a College Republicans event, which tells you all you need to know about joining a club or organization. We'd tell you to align with a cause that you're passionate about, but it doesn't really matter. If your goal is to meet girls, go with something that raises awareness for German Shepherds with special needs or, like, a Nutella appreciation group or whatever. You're welcome.

Enjoy real parties while you can. As your 20s become 30s and so on, most of the "parties" you attend involve newly engaged couples fawning over themselves and gourmet cupcakes for sustenance. SMH. But in college, you can take a two-story beer bong off of the Pike house roof, follow that up by inhaling a few Co2 cartridges, and then it's off to the garage for a minute-long keg stand. The world is your oyster, and that seafood delicacy is full of questionable life decisions.

While it's tempting to spin out, try to curb your partying a little. If your brain shuts down to its most vital functions, you'll be another inebriated bozo in a sea of drunken douchebags. But if you keep you cap your blood alcohol content to, say, twice the legal limit, you'll be able to showcase the scaffolding of a personality to new people.

When you grow up, the stadium experience becomes sullied by an onslaught of shirtless bleacher bums and $50 parking. Your kids will hound you for overpriced team apparel, beers will cost $3 each and Matt Schaub will dash your team's playoff hopes with a pick-six late in the fourth quarter. Then, while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on your way home, you'll think back to the days at State, when every touchdown was punctuated with a high five from a coed and you didn't have to pay for Fireball shots because of a concealed fifth in your jeans. It was like you were a part of the team; only you were inebriated and couldn't run two miles without vomiting on your Asics.

These are the greatest years of your life to be a fan, mostly because enthusiastic young women surround you and your team can’t rob you with a seat license. Even if your team sucks, you can’t lose in the stands on college football Saturday. 

The dorm laundry room isn't like the washer and dryer combination that you grew up using at your parent's house. In college, the laundry room is an absolute free for all. If you're a minute late transitioning your clothes from the washer to the dryer, an annoyed coed will take your marinated wardrobe and throw it in a damp pile on the floor. Or, worse yet, some sketchy dude that sells weed cookies out of his dorm room will rifle through your shit and snatch up a hoodie or three. Since you have to keep a watchful eye on your soap-soaked belongings anyway, it would behoove you to make friends while you're down there. Just, for the love of Based God, don't leer over a girl while she sorts her underwear. That's a good way to get a handful of fabric softener smashed into your eyeball. 

Bruh, you're not going to meet your college's Emma Watson-types by shotgunning Keystone Light cans on fraternity row. In a theatre program, you'll be in close proximity to talented women and your in-class competition will be 20-year-old versions of Philip Seymour Hoffman and Forest Whitaker. In other words, you'll shine in the spotlight whether you have acting chops or not. 

Provided you don't kill an entire fish bowl Malibu rum and face plant on the beer soaked floor, the college bar is one of the easiest places to meet new people. The place will be crawling with plastered dudes that close talk with disgusting beer breath, so you'll be in a decent position to meet girls by default. Enjoy this scene while you can because it gets a lot harder after you graduate.