Potency: 144 proof
Before the 90-year American ban on absinthe was lifted in 2007, Jade Liqueurs absinthes—made in France by New Orleanian scientist-turned-spirits geek Ted Breaux—literally had to be smuggled into the States. Of course, this only added to the thrill of drinking something that was supposed to turn you into a hallucinating psychopath, which is why it was banned in the first place. This absinthe contains only trace amounts of thujone, the chemical which was thought to induce hallucinations, but don't worry—at more than 70% alcohol, you'd pass out before you could go on a murderous rampage anyway. Absinthe needs to be diluted in water through a slow and, frankly, sexy process called louching: the water is dripped slowly through a slotted spoon with a sugarcube on top, which turns the absinthe opaque, then cloudy. It's a pungent herbal liqueur with strong notes of anise and fennel. And this brand is modeled on the stuff the French painters drank back at the turn of the 20th century. Tres sexy, indeed.