Wherever politics are, you can be sure that sex won’t be far behind. And this has never been more evident than over the past few months as New Yorkers have seen the dramatic comebacks of two scandalous politicians: Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner. Arguably the most useless liberal pair since FDR’s legs, the sex lives of this depraved duo has staged a classic coup by hijacking the front pages of every newspaper and website this summer.
By focusing on their bare-assed conquests, the media has buried the important issues that New Yorkers should care about, and instead they have given these two unlikely candidates more screen time than the President himself. But you know what? Sex sells, and we’re buying all of it.
Spitzer is currently making a run at the city’s comptroller position after a prostitution scandal almost killed his career a few years ago. One would argue that CNN finished the job. Weiner, on the other hand, is attempting to be the successor to New York’s mayoral soft drink czar, Michael Bloomberg. While Spitzer’s controversy was a classic political fall from grace, Weiner was embroiled in a scandal for the digital age when he was caught sending explicit images of himself to a woman over his public Twitter account.
After years out of the spotlight, Weiner joined the race for mayor earlier this year and was ready to make a shocking jump in the polls during the early summer months. But it was soon revealed that even more sexting went down during his hiatus, this time with a 22-year-old woman. To cover his tracks, he was entered into her phone under the nom de guerre, Carlos Danger. The polls are looking grim for him at the moment, but if Weiner is actually elected, the writers at SNL will have enough material to carry them through the decade.