10 Ways To Tell That You're Drinking Too Much

It's time to tone it down.

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Image via Complex Original
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How much is too much? We’ve all had those nights where we feel limitless, defeating everything the bar throws at us. No matter how many shots are consumed, we are always ready to buy the next round or take the next bar to hell.

But there are those other nights, the times when we have to be shown our woeful works in the harsh light of a hungover day. You wake to your cell phone ringing in a half-inch of party water (that unidentifiable shit left to stew in a red Solo cup). “Did you find the gash on your back yet?” Yellow, almost-jaundiced skin. Burned off patches of hair.

The real problems aren’t about the benders, but the patterns. Bartenders from bars you don’t remember drinking in know your name. Most friends describe you by your ability to drink. You feel more comfortable with something strong in each hand, so no one feels left out.

It’s time to tone it down. Here are 10 ways to tell that you're drinking too much.

10. The Bartender Is Your Emergency Contact

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9. Your Drinking Inspires Your Tattoo Choices

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8. Your Dog Has Liver Failure

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7. Bar Swag Is Your Swag

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You Lost the House Playing Flip Cup

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6. You Lost the House Playing Flip Cup  

It seemed so easy, like throwing a soft ball into a milk jug. You’d been running the table all night, cups dropping with zero gravity grace. Is he kidding? Who plays for deeds? Still, this is your party—you can’t back down. So clunk, clunk, clunk—you’re homeless. Occupy the curb. Protest of one sad, sad man.

Now you’re living in your car, putting back bottles while driving like you’re leaving Las Vegas. Just keep your head down, you’ll get him next time. Might have to practice on the hood for a while. Wait for the engine to cool a bit; last time you melted one of the cups. The scrim that is the rim’s outline is a reminder of everything that needs to change. 

Oh, did someone just say they'd play for pinks?

5. You Power Hour to Relax

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All Your Glasses Are Tumblers

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3. Your Nightmares Are All Set During Prohibition

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2. The Neighbors Think Your Place Is a Recycling Center

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1. There Is Booze in Your Toilet Tank

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