Look at Johnny Simmons's baby face. There's a reason why dude's always cast as the virgin (The To-Do List) or the quiet newb (Scott Pilgrim). He's about as threatening as the Charmin bear, and his role in the otherwise fearless Hold On We're Going Home is no different. It doesn't help that he looks like Derek Zoolander on cough medicine. That cross earring though? Standing ovation.