Signs You Need to Find a New Local Bar

One: you've slept with most of its patrons.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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From the kitchen's delicious grub to the quality of cocaine slung by its bathroom attendants, the reasons for falling love with the local bar can vary. Like any relationship, things are great in the beginning. The DJ plays your joint when you need it most, the bartender who gives you your vodka pours an extra beat, and, best of all, you can stumble home during a blackout with relative safety. But after a little employee turnover and new management, your relationship with the neighborhood spot can crumble like the sidewalk underneath CC Sabathia's feet. These are the 10 signs you need to find a new local bar.

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You get mad when someone sits on “your stool.”

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The bar smells like (and looks) like a subway car.

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Your former high school teachers are now your drinking buddies.

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You’ve slept with more than two members of the staff.

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Drake and Chris Brown are sitting at adjacent VIP booths.

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You’re no longer enrolled, but still hitting the campus joints.

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You’re the only one in the place.

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The place has two neon bar signs for every female patron.

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Does this image look at all familiar? Time to find a new bar, bruh.

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You’re “that old guy” hanging out by the dance floor.

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