The Most Ratchet Media Takeout Headlines of July

It was a wild 31 days.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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The blog-style gossip site Media Take Out, which launched in 2006, is notoriously known for inciting celebrity drama. And as the most visited urban website in the world, readers constantly demand slanderous dirt (read: shade) on A-listers. The most fascinating part about the online gabfest, however, is its unique approach to crafting headlines. Never before has a web entity appropriated such a distinct (read: ratchet) style and voice. Here, we recap the best headlines of July.

You Will Not Believe WHICH TWO ARTISTS . . . Were CAUGHT . . . Doing Who Knows What Backstage In The DRESSING ROOM!!

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Nicki Minaj Got MAD AS HECK . . . After Watching Kirk CHEAT ON RASHEEDA Last Night On Love And Hip Hop . . . So She Went On Twitter And BLACKED OUT On Him!!!

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Rapper Nelly IMPREGNATES The Chick . . . He Was CHEATING ON ASHANTI WITH!!!

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REPORT: Kanye West Is 'FORCED' To Move In With Kris Jenner . . . By KIM KARDASHIAN!!

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Police Say Rapper 50 Cent . . . ALLEGEDLY Beat Up . . . His SECRET BABYS MOTHER!!!

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Diddy THROWS SHADE On Jay Z Via Instagram . . . Brings Up Some OLD SLANDER About How Jay Was Cheating With Deceased Singer Aaliyah!!!

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Beyonce's Father GOT MARRIED YESTERDAY . . . To A Beautiful Woman!!!

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WHOOPS!!! The Paparazzi 'ACCIDENTALLY' Snap A Pic Of R&B Singer Letoya Luckett's UNMENTIONABLES!!!

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OUTBREAK????? Rihanna Has A MYSTERY RASH . . . In Her Private Area . . . And It Looks Like It's VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

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Willow Smith Shows Off Her NEW BLONDE WIG . . . And The Poor Thang . . . Has NO IDEA HOW SILLY She Looks In It!!!

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They Got TEXT MESSAGES That Rapper 50 Cent ALLEGEDLY Sent To His 16 Year Old SON Marquis . . . Saying Some Real F*CKED UP SH*T To The Boy!!!

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OH MY GOODNESSSSSSS . . . .!! Have Y'all Ever Seen What Talk Show Host ELLEN DEGENEROUS Looks Like WITHOUT MAKEUP!!!

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LMAOOOOOOOO!!!! The Struggle Is REAL Y'all . . . You're Not Gonna BELIEVE What Happened To Love And Hip Hop Star MOMMA DEE At Red Lobster!!!

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LMAOOOOOOOOO!!! Woman Exposes Her EX-BOYFRIEND On Twitter . . . Dude Must Have The SMALLEST D**K We've Ever Seen!!

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NOT ANOTHER!!! Kim Kardashian's Baby SISTER . . . Is Spotted On A Date With ANOTHER BROTHER . . . That's Her Third Black Man IN A WEEK!!!

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WHAT HE F*CK???? LAMAR ODOM Gets Angry . . . So He ROBS The Paparazzi Guy . . . And They Got It ALL ON CAMERA!!!

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Remember How HIGH Paula Patton Looked At The BET AWARDS . . . Well Last Night . . . She And Her Hubby Robin Thicke . . . LOOKED EVEN HIGHER!!!

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NFL Star Reggie Bush's FIANCE Reveals Pics Of HER NEW BABY . . . And He's Cute But Ummm . . . MAURY May Need To Look Into This!!!

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WHAT THE FREAK?????? Big Sean Is Photo'd . . .FINGER FREAKING Some Model . . . During A Photo Shoot!!!

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Will Smith's Son JADEN Got Himself A NEW LOOK . . . And He Looks Even DUMBER THAN HE DID When He Was Wearing THE SKIRT!!!

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Naomi Campbell Is BACK IN BUSINESS . . . She Was Spotted FROLICKING ON THE BEACH . . . With ANOTHER Billionaire!!!

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BUDGET DIVA!!! A Fan Catches Beyonce . . . Looking For Items At The TARGET CLEARANCE RACK!!!

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You Have GOTS To Be Kidding!! Look What This DETROIT RATCHET . . . Wore To A WHITE PARTY!!!

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OOOOOH SNAP!!! Chris Brown Is Going BALD . . . Look At His HAIRLINE . . . And How THIN HIS HAIR IS!!!

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WHAT THE FREEAK???? Rapper TI Posts On Instagram . . . Pics Of His Two YOUNGEST SONS . . . PIZZING IN THE STREET!!!

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Jay Z's Daughter Looks Like A SPITTING IMAGE . . . Of The Child Jay Z DENIES IS HIS!!!

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WHAT THE F*CCCCCKKKK!!! Joseline From Love And Hip Hop Takes Off ALL HER MAKEUP . . . And Puts On A Hat . . . And THAT'S A MAN!!!

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POOR TYRA BANKS . . . All Those YEARS OF WEAVE . . . CHEWED UP HER EDGES LIKE BUBBLE GUM!!

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Kelis Claims That Rihanna STOLE Her Grey Hair Look From Her . . . And It's KINDA SORTA TRUE!!

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FOX NEWS HOST Must Be POPPIN MOLLYS . . . Cause His 70 YEAR OLD AZZ . . . Juts Posted A NEKKID PIC On Twitter!!!

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WHAT THE FREAK???? Woman Goes To The Doctor With BACK PAIN . . . And The Doctor Diagnoses Her . . . With 'GHETTO BOOTY SYNDROME'!!

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YOUNG MONEY MELTDOWN . . . Drake Is Accused Of Doing THE UNTHINKABLE . . . With Lil Wayne's Fiance!!!

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Check Out Rapper MEEK MILL'S New Ferrari . . . It's INTERESTING LOOKING . . . Some Might Even Call It . . . A Bit RATCHET!!!

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WHAT IN THE . . . ???? Boxing Legend MIKE TYSON Was Spotted Showing Off His NEW LOOK . . . He's Rockin' a BELLY SHIRT And Some TIGHT JEANS!!!

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R&B Singer CIARA Attended Her ALBUM PARTY With Her BF Future . . . And THAT WEAVE OF HERS . . . Is Way Too Extra!!!

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UH OH!!! FOXY BROWN Gets Caught STEALING $900 WORTH OF Hair . . . From A SALON IN Brooklyn!!

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Rap Superstar NICKI MINAJ Files A RESTRAINING ORDER Against Producer DJ Khaled . . . For 'STALKING' Her!!!

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WHOOPS!! Magic John's SO Had A Wardrobe Malfunction . . . His SKIRT FELL DOWN . . . Exposing His STRETCH MARKS!!

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Beyonce's Mother Just Got Her Face 'SURGICALLY REFRESHED' . . . Now She Looks Like She's 35 Years Old!!!

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So It's OFFICIAL . . .Beyonce's Sister SOLANGE'S Music Career Is A FLOP . . . She Did A Concert Yesterday . . . At a LAUNDROMAT!!!

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