Brooklyn hood they'd feel most comfortable in: Park Slope
VMA pregaming spot: JJ Byrne Playground, to escape the cloying affections of young girls. Most of the young girls here are in strollers, and thus, pose less risk.
After-after party spot: Beauty Bar Brooklyn, to court the cloying affections of young  girls. There's a time and a place, and it's now—as long as you have a valid I.D.
Quirky Sunday afternoon activity: The Garfield Tot Lot. Where you see screaming children, they see potential fans for the 1D reunion tour.
Refuge from the paps: At Excelsior, listening to the bar's awesome jukebox. This gay bar is the last place they'd look for these lady-killers.
Favorite thing about Brooklyn: That the shoes are hanging from the telephone wires, not being flung at Harry Styles' scrotum.